“I was hoping so.” I just knew it was the right thing to say.
She threw her arms around my neck and held on. I put one hand on her little back and held her. I felt something in me that I had never felt before in my life. If was love on a different level and I didn’t even know this baby girl. Like a door I hadn’t known existed had just swung wide open and light was coming through it. This shit was hard to put in words. Yeah, I could be a hard and dangerous nigga, but that little hug made me want to be a completely different man.
I stood up slowly with her still holding the bear and looked at Sandra who was standing there with her arms crossed watching me with an expression I couldn’t fully read.
I took Amara’s hand and we walked a few steps away so I could crouch back down next to her.
“Do you know who I am,” I asked her quietly.
She nodded like it was obvious.
“My daddy from my dreams,” she said. “Not my daddy at home. My other daddy. I told mommy I see you when I sleeping.”
I looked up at Sandra.
She was looking somewhere else. I knew she’d heard what this baby just said. That damn near brought tears to my eyes. This was my daughter and nobody could tell me otherwise after hearing that. The crazy part is, I’d often dream of a baby girl. This went on for years and I always thought it was a sign that me and Simone were going to have a daughter of our own. The whole time it was this exact baby.
I stood up and kept Amara’s hand in mine and walked back to Sandra and dropped my voice.
“We can do this the easy or hard way,” I said. “Your choice.”
“What?”
“Easy or hard.” I reached into my back pocket and pulled out the DNA test boxes. “I do this here right now, we get the results and we figure out the next step together like adults. Or I leave right now and drive to your house and knock on your husband’s door and we all figure it out together.”
Her jaw tightened. “You wouldn’t.”
“Sandra.” I looked at her over the top of my sunglasses. “You know what kind of man I am.”
She reached for the boxes like she wanted to take them from me and I stepped back.
“Don’t try it.” I said it flat. “Let me do what I came to do.”
She grabbed my arm, I stopped and looked at her hand on my arm and back at her face. She must had read what was in my expression and let go.
“This isn’t fair,” she said. Her voice dropped and something real came through the composure. “You already turned my life upside down once. You don’t get to come back and do it again.”
“What about me Sandra.” I kept my voice even. “What am I supposed to do with knowing another man might be raising my child. I’ve already missed three years. Three years I can’t get back. I’m not trying to blow up your life. I’m not trying to take anything from you. But I have a right to know the truth and that little girl has a right to know who she comes from.” I paused. “What about what’s fair to her.”
Sandra looked at Amara standing next to me holding her Minnie Mouse and something moved through her face that she pressed back down.
She didn’t say anything else.
I opened the first kit and crouched down next to Amara.
“Can I play a game with you real quick?” I said.
She nodded immediately.
“I need you to open your mouth real wide like a lion for me. Can you do that?”
She opened her mouth as wide as it would go and roared and I laughed before I did the swab. After that, sealed it before she could think too much about it. Then I stood up and did my own making the same sound she made, causing her to laugh out. Sealed both and put them back in the box, then I put the box in my inside jacket pocket.
I looked at Sandra.
“When the results come back I’ll reach out. Whatever they say we’ll figure out the best solution for everybody. I’m not here to make your life hard. But I’m not walking away from this either.”
She nodded once. Stiff. Still not fully looking at me.
