He doesn’t move to the fire. Instead, he takes another step toward me, slower this time. “Can we talk?”
Every nerve in my body screams Yes, but my heart . . . my heart remembers my sister’s words.
Haven is not me.
If you’re using Haven as a stand-in for me . . .
This is just a fling to you?
I shake my head, standing too quickly. “I’m really tired. It’s been a long day.”
“Haven—”
Before he can finish, footsteps sound down the hallway. My mom reappears, her expression just a little too casual. “Becks, so glad you made it back safely. We were all a little worried about you and Talon.”
“Everything went to plan. Mostly,” he says, his gaze flicking to me.
My mom smiles. “We’re certainly glad about that. Haven,” she says to me. “Your dad’s already out for the night, which is probably for the best since we’ve got a big day tomorrow. Why don’t you come help me in the kitchen, sweetheart? We can reheat some food for the guys for a late dinner.”
“Actually, I was just heading upstairs,” I blurt, already sidestepping her.
I don’t dare look back at Becks, but I can feel him watching me, like a weight pressing between my shoulder blades.
I make it halfway up before she calls something after me, but I don’t stop. I can’t. Not with my chest tight and my throat aching like this.
When I reach my room, I shut the door quietly, leaning back against it as the tears I’ve been holding finally well up.
Downstairs, I swear I hear his low voice through the floorboards. Steady, calm, like nothing’s changed.
But everything has.
I can’t decide what hurts more: that he doesn’t chase after me or that part of me still wants him to.
The next morning, I stand atop a crusted layer of snow, listening to it crunch beneath my feet as I shift my weight, staring at the black SUV that we’re all planning on piling into.
“Are you sure you don’t mind climbing in back?” my mom asks Becks, looking doubtful. “It’s a pretty tight squeeze.”
“Yes, of course. I’d never let you or your husband climb back there,” he says with an easy smile on his face.
Since Talon is driving, my mom and dad insisted that Locklyn take the front passenger seat, leaving the middle row and the tiny two-seater fold-out back row for the rest of us. Because of my size it was assumed that I would sit in the back, and when my mom said she’d sit next to me Becks offered her his seat instead.
It was the chivalrous thing to do, but the thought of being tucked away in the back of the SUV with Becks for the long drive ahead makes my stomach flip.
For good and bad reasons.
To escape facing Becks the night before, I hid in my room, feigning that I was asleep when he came by and knocked on my door. I avoided him again this morning by being the last one up and going straight from my room to the car when it was time to leave.
Was it cowardly?
Yes.
Would I do it again?
Absolutely.
The drive to the portal site is going to take at least seven hours. I can only hope that the other bodies in the car dissuade Becks from diving into any serious conversation.
“After you,” he says to me, an easy smile on his face even as light concern shines in his eyes.
