If he was suspicious something was wrong before he left for New York a couple days ago, I’m sure it’s confirmed now. The effortless camaraderie and flirtation we had before is gone, replaced with stilted awkwardness.
I no longer know how to act around him, and it’s clear that’s confusing to him. How couldn’t it be? Just a few days ago we were sneaking away to share kisses in the snow, and now I can’t stand to be in the same room with him for more than a few minutes.
I crawl into the far back seat of the SUV and settle in as Becks squeezes in next to me. The seats are by no means spacious, and Becks is a big guy, so there’s no way to sit without brushing up against him. Even so, I move as far to the side as possible.
Seemingly oblivious to my need for space, Becks manspreads next to me, eating up any of the buffer I just put between us.
In less than a minute I’m already overwhelmed by his closeness, by the heat coming off him and his delicious scent. My body and my brain aren’t in alignment, because I have to fight off the urge to cuddle against his side.
This is torture.
For a moment we’re in the car alone before the others pile in. The doors are open, so we don’t have complete privacy, but it’s enough for Becks to feel comfortable leaning down. The tip of his nose brushes against my temple. He inhales slowly before murmuring, “I missed you,” in my ear.
A shiver runs through me that I can’t stop, and Becks’ low chuckle tells me he notices.
Stupid traitorous body.
I shift a little, repositioning within the limited space, not exactly pulling away, but not pressing into him either. I should be plastering myself against the window right now, but dang it, I can’t make myself. It’s like he’s a black hole and his gravitational force is too strong to withstand.
I make the mistake of tilting my face toward him. His green gaze is mesmerizing. The way he looks at me . . . if I didn’t know any better, I’d swear there was deep emotion there. Passion. Caring. Longing.
Even knowing there’s not, I’m pulled in by it, my defenses melting with the heat in his eyes.
“I was worried about you,” I confess, and something like relief softens his features.
“I was worried about you too.”
Reaching up, he tucks some hair behind my ear, his fingers sliding against my jawline before he pulls back. I tense to keep another shiver from running through me.
“We should talk,” he says, his gaze heavy-lidded, his voice a seductive purr I can feel in my gut. “There are some things that I need to tell you. Things you should know.”
My stomach knots. Is he going to finally confess his history with Locklyn and then try to let me down easily?
“Now’s probably not the best time,” I say.
“Right. The car’s pretty tight and?—”
“No, I mean, maybe we should just table it until after all this is over.”
His nearness is messing with my head, making me want to lean into the illusion and shelve the truth.
Maybe I can pretend I didn’t overhear his conversation with Locklyn.
Maybe, even though it’s not real, I can enjoy what I thought we had for just a little bit longer, because let’s face it, a little bit longer may be all the time I have left.
His brows knit in confusion, and he shakes his head. “No, this isn’t something that can wait. It’s something I need to tell you. Something you need to know.”
I deflate, knowing that Becks isn’t going to let my disillusionment last. Because even though he has played with my heart, deep down I know he’s a good guy who wants to do the right thing.
His conversation with Locklyn probably made him realize what he was doing and he needs to make sure I understand that this is nothing.
We’re just having fun. A fling, as he put it.
My dad’s head pops between the seats in front of us and I rear back. “You guys both fit okay back there?” he asks, ignorant to the moment he just interrupted.
“We’ll manage,” Becks says for the both of us, giving my dad a broad smile.
My mom takes a seat next to him, and then Talon and Locklyn after.
