It's not, and it only serves to draw Riot's attention. Which is what I don't want. I'm trying my hardest to leave him alone and be small so I don't bother him. He's been struggling since I got back from isolation which I think was yesterday. All I know is I've gotten two more visits that resulted with a bruise on my thigh, no water access, a slap across the cheek, and no mattress.
"Vivian, you're doing it again," Riot rumbles without looking at me. I didn't even realize I was matching his growl.
Fuck.
Realizing I can't be here with him without making shit worse, I close my eyes and tip my head back to the ceiling.
White swirls around, blinding me as I situate myself in the safety of a tiny butterfly on the outside. I don't want to be in my body anymore. Plus I'm afraid if I allowed my focus to shift into my ethereal form, I might suck my bonds in and beg for them to hold me.
Jarek's close to my drooping body. His golden tether spins rapidly around my torso, seemingly panicked by its rare opportunity to touch me. The distance between his bond and me makes my wings flutter with anxiety and sadness. My omega side cries out, wanting to gather my mates and hold them so tight they'd have no choice but to feel all of my pain and sorrow.
A flash of red draws my attention, showing me Riot's buzzing form cinched around my bicep. Every so often Jarek'sgold meshes with Riot, and I swear they both shudder and blend, calming both their erratic energies. Could it be possible that Jarek is the reason Riot takes deep breaths randomly and seems to calm himself?
Hope springs to life in my mind and heart. Nobody should live with the amount of anger that Riot does. I won't acknowledge that I ever thought this, but I bet Jay would be good for him.
White snaps and shoots through the green hue that is my subconscious.Kade.Desperate and lacking control, he whooshes around, frantically trying to breach the invisible walls I have up to keep them safe. Riot’s the closest, Jarek's second, and Kade is on the outside studying my whereabouts.
Silas on the other hand...my heart breaks watching his blue tether swirl around aimlessly. Where he once wove himself through my fingers and around every inch of me in his soothing, teasing way, he's slow and sluggish. I watch as he brushes up against Kade and Jarek every so often, working his magic to soothe their souls in the bond. He's helping but he's also struggling.
I want to scream into the bond that it's for their own good. That I know what I'm doing. But each pulse of Riot in the bond, in a place he wasn't invited, shows how little I actually know about what's going on. I'm lost and scared, floating about without even flapping my wings.
My safe space within the bonds isn't meant for confusion or sadness. Yet that's all I feel here. That and unbridled fear.
My mates are so alive with negative energy that it feels like second nature to reach out and coax it from them. I'll take the yuckies because I've been dealing with similar shit for as long as I can recall. I'll take the sadness, anxiety, and uncertainty because I can. I'll wield it when they can't. What hinders them could help me.
If they're going to find me, they need to think straight, and with how their bonds are acting, it would be a miracle if they could even get a wink of sleep.
I need my mates strong and focused. Plus, if I'm going to get out of here, I need more energy too.
Thirty-Three
Silas
"It's like pulling fucking teeth, Kade," I hiss from the passenger seat. "No, I'm serious. How do we get any answers from him when he's stuck in the bond like he's been all morning?"
Kade sighs and flips the blinker. "We have enough for the next hour. We know she's close to Trent. He'll know more. I feel the pull too. We have to trust Jarek, my love."
"Of course I trust him. But we needmore." I'm getting increasingly anxious the closer we get. All Jarek has given us is vague this way and that way, which Kade agreed felt right. I trust them with everything, but I don't understand how they justknow. I can't feel jack shit. I'm not helping and my alpha won't talk to me.
Hell, he's been passed out in the back seat and I'm freaked out. The three of us have barely slept in days, now he's getting a good ass nap?
Something is different with them. Kade's a bit less feral and snappy. Jay is finally resting. I, on the other hand, don't feel any different, which makes me feel like the crazy one now. The anxiety and questions running rampant in my mind make me dizzy.
"We'll get more when we meet up with Trent and his men, you know that. This is it, Silas. We're almost there. I need you to hold your shit together just a little longer. Can you do that?" Kade glances at me and puts his hand on my thigh. It's grounding but doesn't make this any better.
Can I do that? It's annoying that he's asking me that now when I've been saying that to him since Vivie disappeared. I'm embarrassed and annoyed. The connection in the pack feels like it's even dimmer, as if my alpha's presence is cooling off. We should be anxious and ready for anything. Not this calm, collected, confident bullshit. Right?Right?
Not to fucking mention, we're calling in a favor with ourfriendTrent. Sure, he's a good guy, but he's dangerous as hell, and the operation he runs doesn't seem all above board. If he can help us rescue Vivian, then I'll deal with my discomfort with the ridiculous amount of weapons that guy has.
Remodeling his home for his omega was a stretch because of how far he lived from us, but when he offered to pay extra plus a favor, Kade jumped on it. He said it's best to have a lethal weapon in our back pocket.
I just never thought we'd need to use Trent and his lethality to rescue my mate.
"Silas," Kade says, voice stronger and demanding like it was yesterday. This is good. His monotone only sets me on edge. I need his fire back to feel better. "I need you to do something for me."
"What?" I huff, glancing at the time left on our route.
I can call someone, maybe get some footage from the random ass town we're headed for, though Trent would kick my ass for spying on his area. Or I can grab some of the food and waters in the back for Kade while he's driving. What else can I possibly do?
