“Jayden, dear, you really look stunning,” Louise says as she hands me my bouquet. She looks at her watch and then at Jane. “It’s about time,” she says. “I’m gonna go take my seat. I’ll grab your dad too.”
“Thank you, Louise.”
Jane lingers and checks a few things. She tucks a loose hair behind my ear and says, “You’re beautiful. Today will be magical.”
“Thank you, Jane.”
When Jane opens the door, I see my dad looking all dapper and sharp in his tux. My dad, even at his age, is a handsome man.
“Is my little lamb ready?” He always called me that when I was little. He stopped when I got older, but now, I’m his little lamb again. He walks up to me and says, “Sweetheart, you are beautiful. If I didn’t know better, I would have thought it was your mother standing there.”
“Oh, Dad. I didn’t mean to make you sad by wearing Mom’s dress.”
“You misunderstand. I am not sad. I am rejoicing ’cause I will always see your mother in you, whether you are wearing her wedding gown or not.” He gives me a hug and asks, “Are we ready to get this party started?”
He holds his arm out and I take it, and we walk out of the dressing area and toward the vestibule of the church. Jane and Ted are walking down the aisle to Pachelbel’s Canon and take their places. The church becomes silent while Dad and I wait out of sight for the bridal march to start.
The first powerful notes of Wagner’sBridal Chorusare played, and Dad and I turn the corner. Everyone in the church stands. Dad leans down and whispers in my ear, “I love you, sweetheart. Your mom would be so proud of you.”
I start to get teary-eyed but quickly fight them back. “Thank you, Dad. Thank you for being the best dad ever. I love you too.”
Tears well in his eyes, and he quickly turns away and toward the altar of the church. We begin the walk toward Jake.
Jake is standing there, so handsome in his dress blues. We lock eyes until I arrive at the alter and take my place at his side. The officiant goes through the necessary Catholic things that have to be said before a wedding, and we get to the vows. Jake and I wrote our own, and I can’t wait for him to hear what I wrote.
The officiant turns to face me. “Jayden, would you share your vows with Jake?”
I turn toward Jake and take his hand. “Jake, of all the people who could have helped me that first day of school back it seventh grade, it was you. Somehow, someway, you ended up here with me. It is the most humbling fact I can accept. I used to think we met by chance, but I know with no doubt the universe put you in front of me because we were meant to spend our lives together.”
I get choked up and take a second to get myself together and clear my throat.
“You have filled my life with joy and have given me a sense of peace that I have never known. You are my best friend, my biggest supporter, and the love of my life.”
Jake reaches up and wipes an escaped tear that trickles down my cheek.
“Although today marks the start to the rest of our lives, I know it will not be enough time with you. I will not take our time together for granted. And, because words can’t do it, I promise to show you, for the rest of my life, how much I love you.” I take another second or two to get myself together. “I promise to encourage you to follow your dreams. I promise to make you laugh when you are taking yourself way too seriously. I promise to hold your hand through the good times and the bad. I promise to be loyal and faithful and to put you first. And I promise when we are old and gray, we will look back on our lives together and we will have no regrets. From this day forward, you will never walk alone.”
The priest looks at Jake and nods. “Jayden, I knew from the very moment I met you that you were my forever. I didn’t know how then, but I was determined to make you mine. As we continue to grow in our lives together, I promise to give you all my words when needed and to share in the silence when they are not. I promise to pick you up if you are down. I promise to be loyal and faithful and to cherish the vows we make here today. I promise to love you unconditionally and, most of all, to make sure you always know that in the deepest part of my soul, I know that when challenges arise, we’ll always find our way back to each other. Jayden, you are my everything, and this is my vow to you.”
Forget about trying to hold back tears. It is pointless now. The priest finishes the ceremony and pronounces us Mr. and Mrs. Jacob Starr. We exit the church and wait in the vestibule while our guests come out and congratulate us. The ceremony could not have been more perfect, and I squeal a little inside.I am Mrs. Jacob Starr.
The reception is a blast, and we have the most amazing wedding night. Jake and I have made love before, but that first time after we were married was unlike anything I have ever experienced before. It’s tender and sweet, and I have never felt more loved or cherished before in my life.
***
Marriage to Jake is better than I could have imagined. We have a partnership, and it is the most amazing feeling to have one person I can count on. Sure, we have our struggles, but what marriage doesn’t? Frankly, I’d be worried if it was perfect all the time.
We live on base in what they call base housing. It’s really not bad. The house is nice, and we’ve made it a home, but we both agree that when Jake retires from the military, we are going to buy our dream house. I have no idea what it will be like or what I want in my dream house, but I am sure that once we see it, we will know. We adopted the most awesome Alaskan Malamute, Jax. He is so smart and so adorable. It only took him a week to get potty trained. He is so well behaved and there I times that I believe he understands every word I say to him.
Learning to be a military wife, also known as a milspouse, was not easy. It’s a whole new way of life and a bit of a shock. When we were first married and would go to base functions, the other officers’ wives were really classy. And I mean classy in a literal, non-sarcastic way. They seemed to have it together, and they know the rules of military life like the back of their hand. Meanwhile, I was hiding in the corner, secretly wishing there were a handbook for this stuff. My biggest fear was doing something wrong or saying the wrong thing and pissing the wrong person off. The last thing I want to be is an embarrassment for Jake.
During the first few years of our marriage, I humbly learned what it means to be a milspouse. I’ve learned to be respectful with the correct manners. Unfortunately, a few of these things I learned by messing up the rules, but I was lucky and the mess-ups have been forgiven and were turned into a learning experience.
Firstly, we don’t dress trashy. It’s not that I was a trashy dresser, but I definitely care more about my appearance when I leave the house now than I ever did before. I make sure I don’t show too much cleavage and things like that. They do not expect spouses to go around in formal wear, but they want us to be presentable. I get that. Speaking of clothes, don’t wear gym clothes on base unless you are actually going to the gym. And don’t run to Starbucks in your jammie pants. I did the first week on base, and the looks I got told me this was a big no-no. I quickly learned gym clothes for the gym and jammie pants for home. Oh, and never try on your spouse’s uniform, even if it is just for kicks. This includes their PT gear.
There are also procedural-type rules, like when you are walking with your spouse in uniform, you are to walk on their left side. I thought this rule was so ridiculous, I asked why. I was told it leaves the right side available for if the service member must salute a higher-ranking officer. It makes sense.
Always stop for the colors and the raising or retiring of the flag. I learned to recognize ranks and the proper way to address them. Be respectful of your spouse when in uniform with no public displays of affection and, of course, always show respect for the National Anthem. And then there are those that are common sense, even to those who aren’t a milspouse. Always RSVP to invitations and send thank-you notes when expected. Avoid conversing about politics, sex, and religion at special events.
