Was someone here before me? Why would he need a room to lock someone in? Had he created this room knowing he’d lock me away? Was this meant for me from the beginning, but he opted to keep me in his home instead? What was the purpose of locking me away? Was this supposed to be a prison? I had so many questions, but I knew that if Shio were standing here, I wouldn’t ask them.Insegura.(Insecure.)
The bed was soft, and the pillows remained cool. The one my head was propped on hadn’t warmed at all, and at first, I thought it was another mind thing happening, but after an hour or so of constant coolness, I figured out something inside the pillow kept its temperature. I needed it, so I was grateful. The headache that was beginning to brew would have come on full-fledged had it not been for the relief the pillow provided.
I wasn’t sure whether it was the drugs that kept me oblivious to the predicament my father had placed me in, or Shio’s good looks as we spent so much time together over the weeks, but while lying here, I’d come to the realization that my head had been in the clouds. I was in a foreign country with foreign people. I had no allies, no friends, and the man who had opened his home to me had now locked me away.
At least he gave you a cell phone.
But who would I call? Who? I had no one.
Tightening my arms around my stomach, I couldn’t fathom how much had gone down in the last twenty-four hours. The shootout wasn’t what had me on edge the most. It was knowing that Shio was now sharing his home with Bahati, alone. The beautiful African woman who could bring any man to her knees, even with her broken arms and tattered clothing. Bahati shouldhave been the least of my worries, but I couldn’t help myself. She was gorgeous. When she tossed her arms around Shio’s neck, my heart sank. I wanted Shio to be with me, but Bahati looked like she should be his companion.
I cringed at the idea of who my companion would be. My father had attempted to rationalize his thinking, but the disappointment grew with each word he spoke. I should have been more affected by my father’s revelation about owing Shio’s Don, but I wasn’t. I’d never known my papa to have an issue with pesos, but I knew my father was not a competent man. We’d been well off my entire life, and I never understood why, because my father was not a smart man. I’d seen his decisions for twenty-plus years, and they never showed a man of honor and discipline. For him to trade me, knowing he’d already agreed to my betrothal to the Rodríguezes was the most reckless thing he could have done for his organization. It was as if my father was saying “fuck everyone” as long as his hands were cleaned.
Now, in this room, I was beginning to feel something I should have felt the moment Shio placed that gun to my head:miedo(fear). I wasn’t scared of what would happen to me. I wasn’t scared of what not having the drugs would do to my body. I was scared that I’d lost Shio forever.
I heard the sliding of something and peeled my eyes open. I was facing the door, so light spewed in through a small opening. My knees were pulled up to my chest as I hugged them and waited. I wasn’t being let out, and I knew that because the door didn’t open. Also, Shio was done with me. The look of finality on his face when he called my name was one I’d never forget. Whatever we had ended before it began, and as painful as it was,maybethat was for the best.
Itwasfor the best.
“I got you some food. I know you hungry.” A scruffy but youthful male voice that I didn’t recognize drawled. At the sametime, a thank-you bag with a food carryout tray was pushed inside. “It’s a mini fridge in there. We stocked that shit with water and shit. Snacks too.”
The aroma of spices, steam, and deep-fried food filled the room. Although it excited my senses, it did nothing for my belly. I wasn’t hungry. I wasn’t anything, actually. I’d cried to myself for hours. But I was fresh out of tears, fresh out of pleas. The only thing I wanted right now wascocaína(cocaine).
“Thank you.” I rasped. I had no plans on eating, but I appreciated the gesture.
“Solana… That’s yo’ name, right?”
“Yes.” I squeezed my knees to my chest.
“How you get on that shit? Cocaine?”
With my eyes closed, I moistened my dry teeth with a swipe of my tongue. I was craving the feeling. I could go days without the drug, I really could. But now, my body felt like it couldn’t go another second without it.
“I… It just happened.”
It had. It had just happened. I wasn’t force-fed drugs. My parents didn’t introduce it. I didn’t stumble upon it. It simply just happened. A night out turned into the most fun I’d ever had. And once I realized that my problems were non-existent while inebriated, I’d takencocaína(cocaine) ever since.
“Well, I hate to break it to ya, but you gone have tounhappenthat shit. It ain’t a good look, Mexi-Mami.”
My head snapped up. “Neltz?”
The voice sounded too mature to be Neltz, but my mind was so foggy that maybe I just didn’t recognize him. After all, we’d only had a single conversation, and that wasn’t enough to commit it to memory.
“Nah. That’s the lil’ cuz. I’m Italian.”
Italian.
I tried racing my brain to see if I remembered him. I’d heard his name but couldn’t fathom if I’d seen or met him.
“Shio is my big cousin.”
“Oh…”
“Yeah.”
We both sat in silence. It was long enough that I’d closed my eyes.
“My cousin… He fucks with you.”
