I blew out a sigh. “I get that. If it wasn’t complicated, Mom wouldn’t have lied to me, and I wouldn’t have had to drive all the way to Seattle to find you.”
“I’m still shocked that you never got my letters. I called the post office to make sure they were being picked up, and they were, so I assumed it was you. I never thought that Mom would…” She trailed off, shaking her head. “The night I left, I put a letter on your dresser. It was the first one I wrote to you, and it explained everything. There was a key and instructions inside.”
“For the PO box?” I asked.
She nodded. “Mom must’ve seen it before you woke up. I should have done a better job hiding it, but I was afraid you wouldn’t find it.”
“But…why? Did something happen between you and Mom?”
“We weren’t getting along,” she said. “Like, atall. Mom had these high expectations for me, and I couldn’t live up to them. She wanted me to get into a good school and study something boring like accounting or law, but that just wasn’t me, you know?”
“Yeah, I can’t picture you doing someone’s taxes for the rest of your life.” I could see Rose guiding tourists around some eclecticEuropean city or running a Jet Ski rental in the Caribbean, but sitting at a desk and crunching numbers from nine to five? Never.
“Exactly,” she said. “Besides, it’s not like I had the grades to get in anywhere good.”
“So then what?”
“Mom kept pushing, so I pushed back. Little stuff at first, like cutting class and sneaking out at night. Then I started partying. Just your typical Friday or Saturday night keggers to blow off steam, but things got bad fast. I would go out every night during the week. I’d skip school during the day and sleep off my hangovers.”
This I knew. I’d lived through it. But I could tell there was something more, something she wasn’t telling me. “And?”
“The drinking turned to drugs”—she hesitated—“and then I got arrested.”
“You gotarrested?” The question exploded from my lips. “For what?”
“Possession with the intent to sell,” she confessed. My expression must have said it all, because Rose was quick to add, “It was only a little weed, and it belonged to my friend Jimmy, not me. He got pulled over on our way home from a party. We’d been smoking, and the cop could smell it, so he searched the car and found bags, a scale, and Jimmy’s stash in the trunk. I didn’t know it was back there. We both got hauled in, but Jimmy admitted it was his, so I didn’t get charged with anything.”
“When was this?” I asked. Melted ice cream was running down the side of my milk shake glass, but I pushed the drink aside, untouched.
“The week before I left.” Rose let out a humorless laugh. “Mom had to pick me up from the precinct. When we got home, she snapped. Kept going on about how my arrest was the final straw, and how I had to get my act together because she wouldn’t be bailing me out of jail anymore. ‘Rosalyn, once you turn eighteen,’” she said, mimicking Stern Mom’s voice, “‘I expect you to act like a responsible adult. And if you’re adamant about not going to school, then you need to get a job and contribute to household expenses. There will be no freeloading under this roof.’”
As livid as I was with my mother, her demand wasn’t as unreasonable as Rose was making it out to be. “And?” I asked, still waiting for an explanation.
Rose lifted both hands and shook her head. “She wanted me to pay rentandfollow all her rules. Why would I ever agree to that? If I have to be fiscally responsible for myself, I sure as hell am not going put up with her tyranny.”
“So…you ran away,” I said, repeating what seemed to be the most logical interpretation of what had happened.
“No, I already told you that,” she replied through a taut jaw. “When I refused to sign her ultimatum—seriously, Mom drew up a freaking contract—she kicked me out of the house. Told me to stay out of your life until you’d graduated from high school and got into college.”
Mom did what?I pressed my palms flat against the table and tried to remain calm. “What does any of this have to do with me?”
“She was worried about you.”
I blinked. “Why?”
“Beats me,” Rose said, shrugging. “Maybe she was afraid that my mistakes and rebellion would rub off on you. How she ever thought we’d turn out the same isbeyondme…”
“Because I blindly listen to every lie she tells?” I snapped, unable to keep the venom from my voice. I wasn’t mad at Rose as much as I was at myself. I’d trusted my mom so fully and in every aspect of my life. It never occurred to me that she was purposely keeping me in the dark.
“No, because you’re driven and dedicated and hardworking… My opposite.”
Okay, I’d give her that. We were the inverse of each other: her unruly and me docile. And that major difference made me pause.
If Mom asked something of me, I did what I was told, no questions asked. But Rose didn’t have an obedient bone in her body. When Mom told her to do something, whether it was as simple as coming home before curfew or taking out the garbage, she’d made a point of doing the opposite. So why, of all times, did Rose choose to obey her when she wanted to separate us?
Sure, she sent the letters, but that seemed inconsequential considering she’d been cut out of my life. There were no phone calls. No emails. Why didn’t she decide to hell with Mom and show up for a surprise visit on the holidays?
“Rose, I’m still confused,” I said. “If you cared so little for Mom’s rules, why did you stay away?”
