Chapter Ten
Gianna held her breath as she watched Gunnar strip her dress off. He let it puddle on the floor at her feet before she kicked it out of the way.
She’d dressed for the occasion, with a pale blue strapless bra and matching panties.
“You’re incredible,” he whispered as his lips danced across her collarbone and the slope of her shoulder. “I feel like the luckiest man in the world to be with you like this again.”
She wrapped her arms around his neck, relishing the feel of his hard muscles leaving their imprint on her soft curves. “Take me upstairs.”
Without hesitation, he scooped her up, kissing her as he made his way to the foot of the stairs.
“Put me down. I can walk,” she laughed, grabbing the banister.
“I’m not letting you go.” His eyes trailed over her body, making her feel deliciously exposed. “Ever. Again.”
She wanted to ask for that promise in writing, but feared it would trigger one of their old arguments about the archaic ritual of marriage. A little voice in her head reminded her that he’d changed, that he didn’t feel that way anymore. But it was closely followed by another voice chastising her for believing people could change. She wanted to believe it was possible, that he was suddenly the person he portrayed himself to be, but she was afraid that as quickly as he’d has his epiphany he could have another… that would lead him right back to L.A. and his old life.
“What’s wrong?” he whispered, pausing at the top of the stairs. “You’re not having second thoughts, are you?”
For a man who didn’t seem to be paying attention during their relationship, he certainly was skilled at reading her moods. “No.” Because even though she couldn’t read the future, she knew she needed this one night with him. Whether it would represent closure or the start of a new future, she had no idea. She just knew her craving for him was too strong to ignore.
He carried her to her four-poster, queen-size bed and gently deposited her in the middle before he kicked off his jeans, followed by his T-shirt.
Her mouth watered at the sight, not because it had been so long that she’d been with a man, though it had. But because it had been so long since she’d been withthisman. The one who fueled every sexual fantasy she’d ever had in her life. Even after she left him, his was still the face that popped into her head late at night when she was under the covers… feeling restless.
“I need you.” His voice sounded raspy and raw, as though it cost him more than it should to get the words out.
But she wasn’t surprised they’d come at a price. To her knowledge, he’d never uttered them before. “I need you too,” she said, reaching for him.
Instead of climbing on top of her as she expected, he laid down beside her, curling his arm around her head while he sifted through her hair with his fingers. “Not just in bed. I need you in my life. As my partner. My rock, Gi.”
She couldn’t commit to anything yet. It was too soon. Nothing had been decided. And if he asked her to go back to L.A., she didn’t know if she could. Not even for him. Her time in Vista Falls just punctuated the point. Life in L.A. was not for her.
“You’re still not sure, are you?” he asked, his eyes darkening. “You need more time to figure things out?”
She curled her arm around his bicep. “Weneed more time to figure things out, Gunnar. I know you have to go back, to talk to your band, your label, and your team. What I don’t know is whether you’ll be coming back to me.”
He drew a breath, blowing it out slowly. “I wanted to tell you there’s no question I’ll be back.”
“But you can’t,” she said gently, understanding he was in an impossible situation. His heart was here, with her and the girls. But the career and life he’d spent decades building was a thousand miles away. “I know. I’m not asking you for any guarantees.”
“And you can’t give me any?” he asked, sounding despondent.
“I wish I could.” She turned his face toward her, forcing him to look at her. “I love you, but I love this place too. L.A. was your home, not mine. I tried to make it work there. I tried to be happy, I really did.”
“But you weren’t?”
She shook her head, feeling guilty. “No, I wasn’t. I’m sorry if—”
“Don’t apologize. Don’t ever apologize for the way you feel.” He stared at something over her shoulder. “Damn it, Gi. So what does this mean for us? Where do we go from here?”
“I don’t know.” Her hand skated over his rib cage and she felt his abdominal muscles tense as her hand ventured lower. “What I do know is we have tonight and we’re wasting it talking about things we can’t change.”
“So, you’re saying one night will be enough for you?” His expression was pained as he looked down at her. “If it ends here, you’ll really be okay with that?”
“Honestly?” He deserved complete transparency since he’d given her the same. “No. I’ll be heartbroken. But if you have to go back to L.A. for good, I’ll be devastated whether we make love tonight or not. So I’d rather enjoy tonight and put off worrying about tomorrow until tomorrow. If that’s okay with you?”
He stared at her for a full six beats before he kissed her with the force and passion of a man who’d been denied too long. He took what he wanted, making her want it too… more with every passing second.
