He was breaking my heart in the best possible way. How did I get so lucky? I wasn’t sure I deserved his love, or him, but I’d never been more grateful for anything.
“Thank you.” My voice trembled as I said, “I mean it. Thank you.”
“No thanks necessary. I love you. That’s what you do for the people you love. You step up when they need help. You’re patient and understanding, even when it kills you.”
And I had no doubt this was killing him, just like it was killing me.
Chapter 18
Cece
It was two days before Daddy’s surgery and we were all hopped up on fear. It was a serious surgery, and so many things could go wrong. We were all terrified of losing him.
I held his hand, forcing a smile. “Can I get you anything?”
He scowled. “Yeah, you can get me out of this bed and back home to my recliner. I’m jonesin’ for a beer and a smoke.”
I shook my head, knowing some things would never change. “Daddy, you know that stuff is part of the reason you’re here, right? When you go back home you have to make some serious lifestyle changes.”
He rolled his eyes and grunted. “Yeah, spinach and water. That’s really livin’, ain’t it?”
“I didn’t say that, but you do have to start eating right and taking better care of yourself, for all of our sakes.” I squeezed his hand. “But especially for Mama’s. Come on now, what would she do without you?”
His lip tipped up at the corner, almost hidden by his long beard. “She’d have to find a new hobby if she didn’t have me to argue with no more, that’s for damn sure.”
It was nice to see him feeling better, even if we all knew the worst was yet to come. He’d hate feeling like an invalid, but that would be an inevitable part of the healing process. “As long as you do everything the doctors tell you to do, I’m sure Mama will have many more years to scrap with you.”
He nodded. “Yeah, she ain’t gettin’ rid of me that easy, baby girl.” His lingering look told me he was trying to read my mind. “Your mama told me what Knox did for me. You know I hate acceptin’ help from anyone, but that was just about the nicest thing anybody’s ever done for your old dad.”
I nodded, trying not to cry again. I’d shed so many tears over the past five days I was wrung dry. “I know. He’s an amazing man.”
He narrowed his eyes. “You ready to tell me what’s really goin’ on with you two? And don’t tell me nothin’ because no man does what he did for afriend’sfather.”
Knox probably would have helped Daddy even if I’d kept him firmly in the friend zone. He was doing this for me, but more importantly, he was doing this because he considered my daddy a good friend and wanted to help him.
“We’re more than friends.” And I hoped it would stay that way after months apart. But I knew there were no guarantees and I couldn’t hold it against him if he decided he was tired of being alone.
I thought of giving him a ‘free pass’ for sex, knowing that’s all it would be with the groupies chasing him, but he probably would’ve lost his shit if I suggested that now. Maybe a month from now he’d be ready to consider the possibility. It would gut me, knowing he was with other people, but I had to be a realist. Knox was a hot guy with a powerful sexual appetite. He wasn’t going to be happy being alone indefinitely.
“Yeah?”
“I guess you kind of suspected that the last time we were at your house, huh?”
“Girl, I’ve known there was more between y’all for years.”
Then he clearly picked up on signs we hadn’t. “There was nothing between us until recently.” I rubbed my face with my hands. It was late and I was tired, but time was winding down before surgery and I wanted to spend as much time with my father as I could. “But now…”
“Now what?”
“I’m in love with the man.” I smiled. “I think, no, I know he’s the one, Daddy.” Being apart from him only reinforced my feelings for him. And it wasn’t a question of us getting to know each other better or figuring out whether we were compatible. No one outside of my family knew me better than Knox did.
He squeezed my hand. “Can’t tell ya how happy I am to hear that, baby.” He closed his hands. “Truth be told, I always hoped it would be Knox.”
I wasn’t surprised to hear him say that. Knox was his kind of man. Tough, fearless, no BS. That’s why they’d hit it off from the start. “I can’t say we’ll be able to go the distance, but—”
“Why the hell wouldn’t ya be able to go the distance?” He scowled. “Y’all get along better than any couple I’ve ever seen. You’re in the same business…” He fixed me with a stony stare before he asked, “Are you afraid he won’t be faithful to you? Because if that’s it, I’ll—”
“No!” With every day that passed I was more certain that Knox would never look at another woman as long as he had me. But would he have me? That was my biggest fear… that I couldn’t be there for him, no matter how much I might want to. “I know Knox has a reputation, and I can’t deny that scared me at first. It was probably the thing that had me denying my feelings for him for so long, but I believe in him now, Daddy. I know he’d never cheat on me. He loves and respects me too much to do that.”
