He was right. I had to search my soul, which I’d been trying to do before Dade’s visit, but he somehow made it easier to get it all out there and make sense of my thoughts. “I love nature,” I said, trying to formulate a picture in my mind of all the things that made me… me. “Going for long walks in the woods. Just letting my mind wonder, that’s kind of my jam.”
He nodded. “You’re a creative person. We usually need those long periods of silence to recharge.”
We? I was flattered that Dade drew similarities between us. “I’m a bit of an introvert.” It had taken a long time for me to own that title, but it fit. I loved being alone. “I prefer small groups to big crowds.”
He chuckled. “So stadium shows might be a bit overwhelming for you?”
“Jimmy’s is probably the largest crowd I’d feel comfortable with.” Which should have made my decision easy, but turning Reed down would mean walking away from something else I craved: security and financial independence. So it wasn’t a cut and dried decision for me.
“What else?” he asked, biting his lip. “Besides music and nature, yoga breaks, work, time with family and friends… what else do you need to complete that dream?”
I looked around. “A little house like this would be pretty sweet.” His guest house was about twelve hundred square feet with an open living room and kitchen, two bedrooms, and a full bath. It might seem small to most, but after the studios and tiny one bedroom apartments I’d called home over the years, this place felt spacious. “In the woods.” Since I was supposed to be daydreaming might as well go all in.
“You see yourself sharing this house of yours with anyone?” he asked, his voice husky as he tossed the pillow between us aside.
He was asking whether I needed a partner to be happy. I didn’t. Love would be nice, but as long as I could support myself, I’d be fine on my own. “Maybe.” I licked my lips while trying to ignore the lure of his. “If the right guy comes along.”
“The right guy?” he echoed. “Tell me about him.”
Another fantasy? Why not? I’d already bared my soul to him. “He’s strong,” I said, thinking of the antithesis of every man I thought I’d loved. “Secure.” I rubbed his palm with my thumb before turning it over to steal a glimpse at his lifeline. “Confident in who he is and what we have.”
His smile was faint when he said, “I like that. Go on.”
“He’s knows what he wants. Personally and professionally.” He didn’t have to be rich. I didn’t care about that, but I wanted him to have a job that made him excited to get out of bed in the morning. “He’s a positive person.” I wrinkled my nose. “I hate a complainer.”
His laughter rumbled in his chest when he said, “Good to know. I’ll try to keep my complaining to a minimum in the future.”
I could never imagine Dade whining like my exes had. He was the kind of guy who liked to take control and bend circumstances to his will instead of bitching about them. “My guy…” I said, still caught up in my fantasy. “He makes me laugh and doesn’t take himself too seriously.” My gaze drifted over his broad shoulders, down his powerful chest. “He turns me on. Wants me, and isn’t afraid to be vulnerable.”
His eyes darkened with interest when he whispered, “A man would have to be blind not to want you, Charli.”
“He isn’t afraid to take chances either.” It was obvious in the deafening silence that I’d struck a nerve, calling out what he considered his fatal flaw.
“I’m not afraid to take chances,” he said, finally. “I wouldn’t be where I am if I wasn’t willing to go all in. But when you’ve made as many mistakes as I have, you’d have to be stupid not to learn from them.”
“That wasn’t a shot, Dade,” I said, keeping my voice neutral. “I was just telling you about the qualities I’m looking for in my… person.”
“Your person?” His jaw tightened when he asked, “You ever met anyone you think might be yourperson?”
You!“I don’t know. Maybe.”
“How about you?” If he could challenge me, I could do the same. “Tell me about your person.”
He closed his eyes, his grip on my hand tightening. “I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“I can’t let myself go there, Charli.”
“Of course not.”Because you’re afraid you might have to acknowledge I’m sitting right in front of you!I released his hand before inching back so I was bumping the armrest. “Thanks for talking this out with me. I think I know what I’ll tell Reed when he calls tomorrow.”
“You told him you need to sleep on it?” he asked, sounding surprised.
I nodded. “I think I’ll tell him I don’t need a big stage or a lot of money to make me happy. I’ll just keep working on building this quiet, simple life.” Our eyes met when I added, “With these unexpected moments of joy that make my heart sing.”
He swallowed, like he was trying to force words back down his throat.
“Meeting you has been that, Dade. Totally unexpected. And it’s made me happy. You could ask me to leave tomorrow and I’d have no regrets about meeting you… or anything we’ve done.”
