I looked into her eyes, looking for answers she couldn’t give me. If years of recovery taught me one thing, it was that all of the answers were within me. I just had to silence all the mindless chatter so I could hear them loud and clear.
“Maybe if he’d been in recovery longer, but—”
“You always tell me it doesn’t matter if you’ve been sober a day or ten years, an alcoholic is only one drink away from falling back into the pit of snakes.”
“So, you don’t think it matters that he hasn’t been sober long?”
“You know him better than I do, sis. And you know the disease better than I ever will. You’ve been around enough alcoholics to have a sense of who will relapse and who won’t. What’s your gut tell you about Mav?”
“I don’t know.” And that scared the hell out of me. “I’m not even sure Mav knows, but no one does. One day at a time, like they say.”
She pulled up the flared skirt I wore to reveal the tattoo on my thigh, bearing those words in a beautiful script surrounded by colorful flowers.One day at a time.It had been my mantra so long it felt like a part of me.
“So, where did you guys leave things?”
“I don’t know.” I rested my hands on my stomach, trying to focus on my breathing to calm my fears. “It was weird, kind of strained. He said he’d call, but didn’t ask when he could see me again. I mean, I know he’s on the road for months still and I obviously can’t follow him around the country. I have my work, and a life of my own here.”
“Hmm. Making a relationship work with someone like him would be tough.” She winced. “You think you could handle it? I’ve seen some of the videos online, of his concerts. All those women screaming his name…” She shuddered. “I don’t think I could handle that, if he were my man.”
“If Mav and I find the courage to give this relationship a real shot, I trust him to be faithful. He knows I’d kill him if he wasn’t.” But my fears went even deeper than cheating. I was terrified of losing myself all over again, after I’d worked so hard to re-build my identity.
“There’s more. What is it you’re not telling me, sis?”
Gracie was an expert at reading people, which would make her a damn good shrink. And a pain in the ass as a sister, sometimes.
“I’m finally my own person.”
“Yeah, you are. And I couldn’t be prouder of you. You’re successful and respected in your field. Make a damn good living using your God-given artistic talent. Have plenty of coin in the bank. Own real estate.” She laughed. “Hell, you even invested in your 401k.”
“Yeah.” I had the kind of life my mama had always wanted for me. “So, can I really risk losing that by merging my life with a partner?”
“You mean, someone like Mav, who would forever overshadow you, by the very nature of who and what he is?”
I scowled. “I’m not jealous of Mav’s success, if that’s what you’re implying. I’m proud of him for beating the odds and making his dream come true.”
“But he’s an award-winning, platinum selling artist… already. I don’t have to tell you that boy’s on the verge of becoming stinking rich.”
“So what? I don’t give a shit about Mav’s money.” I’d loved him when he was a penniless kid and I’d love him as a multi-millionaire… if I could let my guard down enough to love him.
“A lot of strong women look for… weaker men.” She held her hand up when I glared at her. “Hey, just hear me out. Two strong-willed, stubborn, opinionated people in a relationship? It’s not easy to make that work.”
Since my sister was going to be a couples and family therapist, I had to assume she knew what she was talking about. But I wasn’t interested in a man who was a doormat. I loved Mav’s strength and determination.
“I’m not saying it can’t work, just that a lot of strong women look for more passive men, who’ll let them do whatever they want without fighting them every step of the way.”
I rolled my eyes. “Mav and I are two independent people who’ve been living our lives just fine alone.”
“But you’re afraid your identity will be swallowed up by his, aren’t you?”
I got a sinking feeling she’d hit the nail on the head, but I needed to hear her say it. “What are you talking about?”
“You’re no longer going to be known first and foremost for who you are and what you do. I mean people will still know you for that. Especially people in the tattoo world, but they’ll know you first and foremost as Mav Stone’s girlfriend, or eventually his wife. Face it, girl. He’s already famous and soon he’ll be a household name. You guys won’t be able to go anywhere, especially in this town, without him getting mobbed by fans. Can you live with that?”
Damn it, I hated it when she was right. I didn’t want to be known for being Mav’s girlfriend. I wanted to be known just for being me, like I always had.
“It’s taken me years to build my reputation and the respect of this industry. I don’t want that to be overshadowed because I’m dating a famous guy. I would hate it if clients came in and started pumping me for information about my relationship with Mav.”
“I know you would. So, what are you going to do about it? He is who he is. You can’t change that.”
