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4] Isn’t Dirty Talk Just A Stream Of Obscenities?
For the undeveloped mind, yes. What is dirty talk then? My definition is any verbal communication you make that is explicitly designed to arouse your lady. I prefer to frame dirty talk as the ability to lead her mind with your words and voice. Talking dirty is mainly about your intention underneath your words and not the actual words.
Dirty talk is NEVER about demeaning, degrading, or verbally abusing a woman. Dirty talk is a vehicle for communicating vibe. True dirty talk is about utilizing the voice as a tool for heightening and magnifying pleasure – and as you will discover, intensifying her orgasms.
5] What If I Run Out Of Things To Say?
Dirty talk can be as simple as describing what you are doing to her in vivid detail. You can also tell her what she is feeling as you perform certain actions on her. Those two things make a great foundation as well as “break in case of emergency” situations.
There are only so many “dirty” words right? Use synonyms and/or repeat yourself. Repetition is good. If you are fucking her right, the last thing on her mind is tallying your phrase usage.
Intercourse is repetitious. The final moments before orgasm are repetitious. In and out. Back and forth. Repetition works. Repetitious dirty talk works. Just change up and rehash something you already said when you can’t think of something. Or stop talking; remember that you don’t have to meet some dirty talking quota nor are you requiring to talk the entire time you are having sex. Your repetitious words and phrases are rarely heard the same way twice.
If she’s overly concerned about your repetitive dirty talk during or after sex she’s not immersed into the experience and most likely not enjoying it. Nobody wants blissful pleasure just once and dirty talk done correctly is just that.
The DOs and DON’Ts of Dirty Talk
DON’T talk about your pleasure in sex more than hers. Keep the majority (~80%) of your dirty talk on what she is feeling. Talking about your own pleasure too much can distract her from her own pleasure and inadvertently delays her from having a powerful orgasm.
DON’T call her any name or say anything that she despises or otherwise she will come out of “sexual trance.”
DO start with small amounts of dirty talk and build it up. If you bring out your entire arsenal early on, you will exhaust your supply of dirtiness and just rehash. The idea is to peak her interest and have her hunger for more. Give her small tastes of what is possible and to demonstrate you are comfortable sexually asserting yourself.
DO speak clearly. You don’t want her asking “Huh what did you say?” or having to guess at your words. It is a mood killer. Whisper clearly if you are whispering. Not speaking clearly will snap her out of sexual trance when you want her to go deeper and deeper into it.
DON’T use only dirty talk when you are in a relationship. She will start to negatively respond to you rather than become more aroused by it. Mix things up with emotional/sensual talk every now and then.
DON’T mention your own pleasure when you first begin dirty talk. You want to condition her to focus on her own pleasure and talking about how you are feeling can distract her from it. Once she has had an orgasm (for that session) you can mention your own sensations and her pleasing you. If you notice her arousal building toward orgasm, then turn the dirty talk’s focus back to her and her sensations. You are doing this because you want to condition her to have orgasms that are powerful and come easily to her. Once she gets well-conditioned and focusing on her pleasure is easier for her, you can talk about your pleasure and sensations with much less restraint and in such a way (via vocal inflection and intensity) that amplifies her pleasure also. The best time to mention how she is making you feel is just before and during your orgasm…it may cause her to go into orgasm with you! I have accidently conditioned women to have an orgasm with me, just based on how I’m breathing and the sounds I make near/during my own orgasm.
DO remember that the purpose of dirty talk is to arouse your woman with dominance, not to degrade her.
DO remember that the more immersed (deeper in sexual trance) she is in sex, the more extreme your dirty talk can be.
DON’T ask her questions like “Do you like this?” “Was it good for you?” if your intention (and the question itself) is not an assertive or commanding one. Otherwise it conveys weakness and is a turn-off to her. If you are secure in your sexuality, you won’t need to ask. Other than asking questions from a place of surety like: “You like when I stroke that tight pussy, don’t you?” DON’T ASK IF YOU ARE PLEASING HER. Another thing, when sex is over, relax into the silence. Don’t fall for the urge to fill it. Let her fill it.
DON’T use words like penis, vagina, kitty, willy, boobs, pecker, etc. If Austin Powers or your doctor would say it, DON’T USE IT. Stick to pussy, dick, tits, cock, etc.
NEVER force your dirty talk, let it flow from you naturally like juice from a hot pussy.
DO say what SHE wants to hear, not what YOU want to hear. Your dirty talk is for her, not you.
Ways to Introduce Dirty Talk
1] Tell Her What You Want
Simple, right? There is a strange beauty within simplicity. Voice your desires. What would seeing her do make you harder than a diamond in an ice storm? Fingering her pussy and asshole at the same time? You want to come on her face? Do you want her to spread her ass cheeks while you fuck her from behind? She would LOVE for you to just TELL her what to do.
TELL her what to do, DON’T ASK her. That is a very important distinction. Tell her what to do in a calm and assertive tone. Even if she doesn’t want to, she?
??ll be turned on by the fact that you were confident enough to tell her your desires. She’ll be turned on by your directness, and lack of shame about your sexuality. Telling her what you want is a sign of your dominance. It conveys decisiveness and congruence, as well as the fact that you know what you want.
Whether she complies or not, the sexual tension and excitement will be ramped up. Telling her what to do is a great place to start if you are wondering where to start with talking dirty in bed.
2] Whispering In Her Ear
Use close proximity to whisper how wonderful it feels to be inside her. Whispering is a step up from just making sounds and doesn’t feel as bold of a move. Ask her how good she feels when you are thrusting into her.
Granted, if you met her in a bar two hours ago, whispering sweet nothings will be perceived by her as inauthenticity on your part. But, if you are in a relationship or have deep rapport with a woman, she will melt if your sweet whispers are done well. See the example below for gathering ideas of what to say.
