The other man considered for a moment. “Normally, I don’t offer rides. But tonight, I think I’ll make an exception.”
A grin split my face even as nerves started gnawing at my guts. This wasn’t at all how I’d planned it, but even still, it would be perfect.
“You have no idea how glad I am to hear that.” I dug my coin pouch out of my pocket. “How much?”
The man waved a hand. “It doesn’t put me out anything to take you two around town. Don’t think my wife would be pleased with me if I took your coin for this.”
“You’re sure?”
“Positive.”
The snow crunched behind me, and I turned just as Penny reached us. His gaze flicked from where I stuffed my coin pouch into my pocket and back up to my face.
“What’s going on?” he asked.
I was grinning still as I snagged his gloved fingers. “I lied about dessert. How about a sleigh ride instead?”
His eyes went wide, and his smile grew into a grin. “Really?!”
The man climbed up onto the driver’s bench and motioned toward the seat behind him. It faced backward and was cushioned with evergreen wool. I tugged Penny around and helped him up into it, and the flush on his cheeks wasn’t just from the cold.
I settled beside him and accepted the fur the driver handed back, draping it over our laps before I tucked Penny in close to my side.
“All set back there?” the man asked.
“We’re perfect,” I replied, then leaned in to rest my forehead against Penny’s.
The driver clicked his tongue, and the sleigh lurched as the reindeer broke into motion.
We rode in silence away from the bustle of the market, driving until we reached the quieter outskirts of town. It seemed I was already getting more than I expected out of our ride, andI was grateful for it. It gave me time to gaze across the snowy scene spread out around us and listen to the reindeer’s hooves and stare, perhaps too long, at Penny as he took it all in.
He was beaming, and I soaked in that happiness. I’d come to rely on my ability to win his smiles and laughter, and the feeling of utter satisfaction that accompanied every offered kiss or clasp of his hand. His was the purest love I’d ever known. So different from the burden of my father’s expectations or the shadows of my own self-loathing. This was levity and light as dazzling as the blanket of sparkling snow that stretched around the sleigh in every direction.
I could tell him every day how much he meant to me and still fail to explain it. I had half a mind to try, to break the quiet between us, but Penny spoke first.
“It’s hard to believe we’ll be home for planting in a few weeks.” He shifted so he could better see the town receding into the near distance. “It’ll be good to see Mother and Sayla again. Hear their voices. Eat their cooking. And I'd really like to hug them…” He trailed off.
He was good at hiding it most days, but I knew how homesick he could get. All his time spent with Rosie and her family was bittersweet; a reminder of what he’d left behind, not a replacement.
To be honest, I was looking forward to our return to the Oliver farm myself. I never felt completely safe in Ashpoint, and that wore on me. Having friends in our growing resistance helped, but I doubted I would ever feel at ease inside those walls. Not the way I did when Penny and I were out on the road, just the two of us. Not the way I imagined I would in Eastcliff with all thoughts and reminders of the Bone Men far behind me.
The last time we’d been there, I couldn’t wait to leave. I’d felt like a fraud, offering help that was anything but, and possibly taking advantage of Penny's naivete. His family was as graciousas he was, and that made it worse. The Olivers were warm and welcoming and happy to have me, but I'd been determined to keep my distance.
Penny wanted them to bemyfamily. I’d been intimidated by his offer on the eve of the third Oath, but the idea had grown on me. I wanted that: to be part of their group and not on my own anymore. To be a participant in their daily lives and not just a guest. The thought warmed me from the inside out.
My hands shook when I dug the leather cord out of my pocket and closed it in my fist. Penny didn’t notice.
“I’ve been thinking about them a lot,” I said, prompting him to tilt his head back to see my face. “And what you said before about them being my family, too. I don’t think I ever gave you an answer.”
I withdrew my arm from around his shoulders and turned so I could face him as much as the limited seat space would allow. His forehead creased as he did the same, but it smoothed when I tucked an errant lock of hair back under his hood.
“I wasn’t really expecting one,” he said.
“I know.” I cupped my hand to his cheek; his skin was cool against my clammy palm. “But I’m hoping you’ll have a more ready answer for my question than I did yours.”
He looked poised to ask what I meant when I held out my hand and opened it so he could see the cord inside. His breath hitched, and a wavering smile crossed my lips.
“I can’t imagine my life without you in it,” I said, fighting to keep my voice level. “There is no future I want without you by my side. Youaremy family, Pen, and I want to be a part of yours. Officially and forever.” I took one end of the cord in either hand and held it up. “I’d like to be your husband, if you’ll have me.”
