“Why not?”He asks the question so loudlythat the group on the other side of the room startles,falling halfway silent and looking over at us.“Sorry,” he says to them and turns back to me.
“Listen,” Marty says,dipping his head.He's so much taller than me that he basically has toin order to meet me eye to eye.“I don't want to get into your personal business. I know we don't know each other very well.But from what you've told me,I think Star wants to come back.I think he wanted to stay. I think that he would want you to ask him to come backif you wanted him to.”
“You weren't there,” I tell him, as if that changes anything. As if I didn’t tell him how many times Star said he didn’t want to go.
He straightens up, pulling his shoulders back. “You're absolutely right. I wasn't.And I don't mean to overstep. I just...I think you're a cool guy.And I think it would be fucking coolto be friends with, you know,sky. Plus, Mackenzie is worried about you.”
I scrub my hands over my face roughly. “What the fuck are you talking to Mackenzie for?”
He shrugs.“She's nice.And she's interested in the ley lines, I think. And, you know, she's hot.”
I groan and turn away from him.“Stay away from my sister, Marty.”
“Thanks, but no thanks,Mason.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
That night, I can't stop thinking about what Marty said.It makes sense, and I know it makes sense, but I feel stupid for not seeing it before. Of course, Star's body would haveneeded something to sustain it.
And even if the electromagnet is not the answer, what could be the harm in trying?Except, in order to try, I'd have to bring Star back,and that’s definitely something I don't know if Marty's right about.
Yes, Star said he wanted to stay when he was here,but that was because of whatever was going on between the two of us. Maybe he wouldn't have actually liked living here.
He wouldn't have been able to go into town,except for maybe the way we did it that once, if it was dark enough wherever we were going and people were too drunk and distracted to know anything was amiss.
Or maybe in weird situations, like Halloween…
It’s not like he could live a normal life. But would that even matter if his normal life is, you know, up in the clouds?
Maybe he wouldn't be bothered if he couldn't go to thegrocery store or to parties. Not that I'm getting a lot of party invites these days.
I lay in bed and stare up at the ceiling. Winter is over. It's been spring for a whole week. It's still cold, but most of the snow is gone.
I could go out there, to the woods.I've thought about it a million times, butpart of me knows that being out there would feel like death by a thousand cuts.
Another part of me was afraid that if it happened again, if there was an electromagnetic storm, thatStar might do it all over again, reach down for me in whatever way he was capable of, and I didn't want him to come back if he couldn't stay.
I don't know if I'm strong enough to ask him to come backand then send him right back if Marty's plan doesn't work.
I sort of wish I had asked Mackenzie to come and stay tonight.She's been my emotional stabilizer over these last few months. She misses Star, too.And when it all gets to be too much,she comes over and talks me through it,or makes me laugh through it, or watches bad movies with me through it.
But it's three in the morning, and I can't wake her up.She just started a new job… and apparently has some weird thing going on with Marty that I didn't know about.
It's like there are ants crawling under my skin.Now that I have Marty's theory in my head, I don’t know if I can bring myself to stay still.
Because there's a chance.Or therewasa chance. I don't know anymore.
Is Star the past, or is he the present?
I sit up and throw my legs over the side of the bed.
I shouldn't do this. I should go back to my life and let Star go back to whatever his version of life looks like.
I get dressed and grab my keys.It's the middle of the night, so it's fucking freezing.I pull my beanie down over my ears, pull my jacket tighter around myself.Then, I drive out to the waypoint.
It's only about a thirty-minute drive and then another fifteen-minute hike into the woods.But I would have driven a thousand miles, hiked even further, if it meant there was a real possibility that Star would come back to me.
I know how stupid it is to be out here in the dark. There are bears, wolves.
