“I like that phrase,safe for the day,” Elizabeth laughed. “The day might not last forever. Of course, I have not the slightest idea if he has any interest in either of us as more than a friend. I am happy to give him that, as I suspect you are. Beyond that, time will tell.”
“That was the second hand, but it still lacks… completeness. Let us have the third hand, if you please.”
Elizabeth sighed resignedly. “I am… well—”
She growled in frustration when her mind went blank at the most inopportune moment and resolved the difficulty by walking to the nearest tree and kicking it vigorously with her bootheel—a trick that only worked in certain company.
Regaining her equilibrium, she continued, “Unless you are impervious to gossip, you probably know there issomethingbetween Mr Darcy and me.”
“I gathered that. Are you willing to definesomethingwith more precision?”
“With you, I amwilling, butunable. I may be in love. I may be embarrassed to have declined two proposals within months. Imay be biding my time. I may be confused. I may just be waiting for the right moment to abandon the idea entirely… I may be—”
Elizabeth stared at the ground, her face sombre. This part of her friend’s naturenevershowed itself to anybody save Charlotte, Jane, or Mary. Without intervention, tears of frustration might follow. Long experience had taught Charlotte that such tears might be good or bad. There was no telling.
“Might be what? You know what you meant to say, so say it and let me help you reason it out.”
Tears started to her eyes, but Elizabeth replied, “I might be… broken… unable to move to the next step. I have come to think highly of Mr Darcy, but I do not… I cannot—”
Charlotte wrapped her arms around Elizabeth and whispered, “You are the most unbroken person I know. If you are confused, it is natural. Is there any chance it might be resolved?”
“We are to meet in October. There is a reasonable chance he may have found someone else by then, and if he has, I will wish him well. If not… well, there is a… possibility.”
She released a long breath, stepped back, and wiped her tears with her sleeve. “In a few months, I shall know. Until then—”
“Until then, Mr Oakley would be a distraction,” Charlotte replied. “May I expound a theory in a very pretentious way, as if I possessed some wisdom?”
“I would like that.”
“You are honest about your feelings with just about everyone but yourself. My experience tells me you will eventually do the right thing—after you try everything else.”
Elizabeth laughed at the old jest, which in previous years had been more fact than hyperbole.
“You are a person who cannot cheat… not even a little. It is your nature—a quality in your mind unlike that of most people—with its advantages and disadvantages. You and I both know you cannot lie at all. You could not give Mr Oakley any encouragement, because so long as your feelings remain divided over another gentleman, it would be a lie. You may or may not succeed with Mr Darcy, but since you are no longer desperate to marry, you have time. You are not willing to leave Mr Oakley in suspense.”
“I suppose so. You make me sound more thoughtful and honourable than I am.”
“No, I make you sound just as you are. I assume you could not quitediscouragehim, but let him know, subtly, that yougavehim no encouragement.”
“That is precisely what I did.”
Charlotte stopped and stared at the ground, embarrassed. “Would you object ifI encouraged him, Lizzy?”
Elizabeth laughed gaily. “Of course not. Why do you think I introduced you in the first place?”
Charlotte sputtered, unable to tell whether Lizzy teased or spoke in earnest, and both friends started laughing. Neither resolved the ambiguity.
Raging Waters
“Jane, can I presume that you are in love with your groom as a wife should be in love with her husband?” Elizabeth asked as she dressed her sister’s hair.
The bride had acceded tosomeof her mother’s wishes by allowing herself to be paraded around the neighbourhood for a week in exchange for one promise. On her wedding day, she would have a light repast with her family in the morning and lock herself in her room with Elizabeth. The sisters were not to be disturbed by maids or matrons, family or friends, sisters or misters.Even Mary was banned.This last morning belonged entirely to the very last bit of sisterly conversation they would ever have before Jane changed from maiden to madam.
They had already bathed, and the young women sat at their dressing table for the last time while Elizabeth fixed Jane’s hair in a simple yet elegant arrangement. The simplicity matched their shared aesthetic sensibilities, not to mention Elizabeth’s extremely limited skills, so it all answered as it should.
In the mirror, Jane met her sister’s eye and asked impertinently, “We seem to be looking at each other in the same mirror. How does it feel?”
Elizabeth laughed. “I think I might hit the colonel with a stick next time I see him.”
