Lady Catherine sat very still for a moment, then chuckled, letting it rise into a laugh.
“You caught me out. I now understand your mystery. You found no evidence that anybody but me implemented thechange, and therefore assert that I engage in such unladylike pursuits as the study of crop rotation and the like. Purely deductive reasoning, just as you say.”
Elizabeth left her seat and took an empty stool near the lady.
“Your nephews come here 2-3 weeks per year. That leaves you mistress for 49-50, or 94-96% of the time. People in the village seem reasonably happy and prosperous, though dependent on Rosings for their living. The estate is hardly falling down around your ears, so am I wrong to assert that you are agoodmaster—either despite your sex, orbecause ofit?”
The lady chuckled. “Well! I have been waiting for someone to best me at a battle of wits for some time. I graciously concede.”
“Your defeat does not seem so terrible.”
They held each other’s gaze for half a minute, and Lady Catherine turned to Darcy. He observed the pair of them as if he had never seen anything quite like it in his life—probably a fair assessment.
“Darcy, perhaps you might explain the first mystery, since you seem so inclined to demonstrate your cleverness.”
“You may not come off so well in that one. Should we leave well enough alone?”
“Not for the world.”
Curiosity filled Elizabeth. His expression baffled her. In an ordinary man, it might look much like a mischievous smirk, but in that gentleman, it was both softer and harder, as if he had shut his feelings away in a drawer for several years and they did not quite fit any more. Considering he became master of an enormous estate when he was about Jane’s age, that might actually be the case.
Elizabeth laughed. “In the words of Lady Catherine, I am not afraid of you.”
Darcysmiled. Surprised into returning one of her own, Elizabeth reflected that it might be the first unforced smile she had ever given the gentleman. She did not expect to repeat it, but one never knows.
“We return to the first mystery. Miss Bennet knows that a lady of your station isexpectedto have music as anaccomplishment. You yourself asserted a natural talent. You also asserted that ill children cannot apply themselves. Miss Bennet generalised to imagine you must have been ill as a child, since nothing else she could think of would explain your abundance of talent but dearth of application, considering how much you emphasise the need of practice forall young ladies.”
Much to everyone’s surprise, Lady Catherine chuckled, then laughed openly. “I see you have abandoned Mr Occam entirely. You forgot that the simplest explanation is usually the best.”
“Which is?”
“I was lazy. Your younger sisters are paragons of industry compared to my early life.”
Whether she should be amused or mortified, Elizabeth could not tell, but Lady Catherine laughed again. “I cannot ever remember being better entertained in this room.Ill child indeed!”
They went in to supper, which was much livelier than before, and at the proper time, the Collins party left for the parsonage.
For the second time, Mr Darcy surprised Elizabeth by handing her into the carriage, and for the second time, he squeezed her hand just a touch more than propriety demanded.
Perplexing, perplexing, vexing man!She turned his contradictions over until sleep finally overcame her.
Parlor
Elizabeth sat by herself the next morning, writing to Jane while Mary and William were gone on business in the village, when she was startled by a ring at the door, the certain signal of a visitor. As she had heard no carriage, she thought it not unlikely to be Lady Catherine, and under that apprehension was putting away her half-finished letter that she might escape all impertinent questions, when the door opened and, to her very great surprise, Mr Darcy entered alone.
He seemed astonished on finding her alone, and apologised for his intrusion by letting her know that he understood all the ladies were to be within.
They sat down, and when her inquiries after Rosings were made, seemed in danger of sinking into total silence.
Elizabeth searched for a topic, until a thought occurred:Why was it her duty to provide conversation when it was his choice to visit?
She could think of all sorts of conversational gambits on his behalf, such as, ‘Well, Miss Bennet, I find myself alone and unchaperoned, so I should depart,’ or possibly, ‘Well, Miss Bennet, I thought we might discuss my very abrupt departure from Netherfield, and my present inclination to pretend the whole thing never happened,’ or perhaps, ‘I came to visit though I really have nothing to say,’ or her absolute favourite, ‘Miss Bennet, I must confess that I have not the vaguest idea what I am doing here… might you enlighten me?’”
Elizabeth smiled slightly at the last thought. She suspected this particular incarnation of Silent Darcy was the best yet; but she could accomplish just about the same thing by asking William to construct a scarecrow, which she might carry from place to place; or perhaps she could work with Mary to createa doll for the same purpose, with less inconvenience. She could pull it from her reticule any time she wanted a partner who would not inconvenience her with excessive chatter.
Elizabeth almost laughed at her own cleverness, singularly unconcerned whether Mr Darcy was uncomfortable; but it would be rude even by her lax standards, so she simply cleared her throat and waited.
He took the hint and began, “This seems a very comfortable house. Lady Catherine, I believe, did a great deal to it when Mr Collins first came to Hunsford.”
