I’d written that shit off a long time ago. Falling in love. I even hate how those words sound in my head.
Plus, there’s the other thing.
I don’t have any sexual experience that counts for something with men.
What the hell am I supposed to do?
I remember that crazy drunk ex praising Yosh like he was a sex god.
Christ. Turns out I’m the fucking rookie.
Maybe Erin was right. Damn, I need to figure out what I want.
No. What I need is music. That’s it. Music.
Music always clears my head, even when nothing else makes sense.
I’ve got raw shit scribbled on papers and napkins. I need to work on that before I lose my mind completely.
“Sapphire, are you alright?”
He called me what?
I feel like yanking my head backward and spitting fire into the air like a Targaryen dragon on the loose.
“Yeah…” I swallow. “I’m fine. I just remembered Calvin called yesterday. Said he needs my help with something he’s recording in the studio.”
“Oh?”
He tilts his head, all curious and innocent. I can tell he’s not buying the bullshit I’m selling.
Calvin didn’t call. I don’t even know if the guy’s back from that festival in Miami.
I don’t care.
I just want the recording studio to myself. A few days to rot in the control room, eat pizza out of the box, microwave the leftovers until they turn to rubber. Life as I know it.
“So… I wanted to ask if I’m allowed to leave Arcadia for two days or so.”
He’s still staring at me like I’m speaking a foreign language.
“I do need to ask your permission for that, right?”
I throw in a double-edged tone, flash him a grin that’s way more vicious than it needs to be.
Damn. I’m doing it again.
He blushes and nods. I can tell there’s a whole circus going on behind those eyes.
“Uhm, yes, Tom. No problem.”
Oh, so now I’m Tom again? What a fucking mindfuck this is.
He shifts his leg nervously over the other and picks a spot on the wall.
“I want… I want to make sure we’re alright. If you feel like… like things got out of hand. I mean, I’d appreciate it if we could have a conversation about that.”
My mouth falls open and I can’t stop the sharp scoff that rips out of me.
