“That also means you’re dependent on him.”
“I know.” The words scrape on the way out.
Jay leading the pack always felt normal. It worked. He protects us and only asks for one thing in return: loyalty.Stand together and we survive. Alone, the world eats us alive.
Back then it was the streets, now it’s the industry. Same rules. Just a higher price under the spotlight.
I swore my allegiance, and I meant it.
But now? Avalon changed everything. What used to feel like belonging has started to feel like a threat.
No, Heatherfell isn’t my home. It’s the gallows. And the worst part? Deep down, I already know what’s waiting for me.
The sentence for a traitor.
No, this isn’t right.I can’t drag Yosh into that. Shit could go spectacularly wrong.
“Love, you should stay here. It’s too messy,” I keep my voice soft so he won’t notice my fear.
“No. I’m coming with you,” he insists, leaving no room for debate.
“I love you, and that’s exactly why I can’t let you.”
“I love you too. That’s why I won’t let you go alone. We both know why.”
“Why?” The word comes out sharper than I intended. This conversation is turning raw.
His eyes narrow, piercing right through me. “Jay knows you want out. He’ll feel it even more the second you walk through that door, and he’ll do anything to keep you in the pack. He’ll twist reality, trap you, make you believe you owe him—and you’ll let him, because he’s damn good at what he does.”
My breath stumbles. Fuck. I never imagined anyone would see that.
Yosh’s hand clamps over mine and the strength in his grip has me reeling.
He wants to face Jay with me. I should protect him from this. But I can’t deny he’s right. Or that deep inside I really need him there.
He licks his lips, staring out of the window now. “I know Jay’s game. I know what I’m walking into. But I need you to want me there. I’ll protect you, baby, no matter what. If you tell me right now you don’t want me, I’ll stay here. But if I go, I’m not letting Jay own you anymore.”
I break. My eyes sting, the world smears before I even realize it. I shove my face into his chest, wetting his hoodie, and I hate it. I hate crying, hate feeling weak, fucking hate it. That’s not me. I’ll fight anyone twice my size if I have to. But Jay? I think I will always remain scared of him. And that fear has doubled, because now I fear for Yosh too.
Back then I had nothing to lose. Now I’ve got everything on the line.
“I want you there,” I rasp. “But if you come, Jay will come for you.”
His arms only tighten. “Then let him.”
I pull myself together, dragging the sleeve of my UV shirt beneath my lashes.
Soft fabric, good absorbent qualities. Such a great gift.
“You’re probably wondering why not just call Jay, tell him I’m done, and leave it at that?”
Yosh shakes his head gently. “You don’t need to explain.”
“I’m not going to Heatherfell to play by his rules, Yosh. My kids are in there. Effy needs to know I fucking love her, that she’s the most important thing in my life. Jay can fuck off. Everything I do, I do for her.”
There, I said it. My children are my world. They’ve been my world from the second they came into it. I need to visit Chris, and I need to do whatever it takes to fix my relationship with Effy.
“Shhh. I know, Sapphire.” He hushes the words against my hair. As soon as I’m calm again, his hands come up to hold my face.
