It’s not going to fix years of hurt and resentment in one night. There’s still plenty to mend between us, but tonight we built abridge. One that will make it easier to meet each other halfway next time. That feels like progress.
Yosh holds her arm to help her through the snow. It’s hard enough for us to walk in this, but for her, heavily pregnant, it must be a struggle.
I didn’t even make the connection at first, but seeing them side by side suddenly makes it obvious why my favorite people are so alike.
They’re both quiet thinkers, comfortable in silence, and somehow tuned to the same frequency. I’m more of a show pony. What you see is what you get. Can’t help that.
During tea there were moments I felt like a third wheel, especially when they started finishing each other’s Nietzsche quotes. I’m not talking about the mainstream ones. They were tossing around lines that nearly gave me a migraine, and I write for a living.
Effy snorts. “That was quite a scene with Finn at the table.”
“Did anyone say anything?” I ask.
“Not that I know of. Alex, Janice, Mary, and I did the dishes. Finn passed out on the couch. Dad went to his office with a bottle and locked the door.”
“Fuck.”
“Joan’s really upset. She wouldn’t tell me why.”
“I probably should’ve seen it coming. She was there for me in Avalon, but I never told her what was going on with Yosh and me.”
“She’s taking it personally.”
“I know, I’ll talk to her tomorrow.”
Effy turns to Yosh, still holding onto his arm.
“Sorry for Christmas from hell. You’re probably thinking we’re all a bunch of drunk disasters, but we’re not. Finn broke up with his boyfriend recently and is walking a self-destructive path, andDad… Well, he’s protecting the pack. He just has his own way of doing it. I don’t always agree with him.”
Yosh smiles politely. “I understand. I would protect what you have here too.”
My head snaps toward him so fast I almost pull something in my neck. What the hell?
“Good to hear,” Effy replies, sliding her arm free of his. On the porch, she turns back to me.
“Thanks for our talk, Tom. It feels better.”
“Glad to hear that, love. Thanks for being open to meet with me.”
She smiles at Yosh. “You’re a lovely Christmas present. Don’t let any McKenna get the better of you, especially not this one.” She nods at me.
I place a hand over my chest, pretending to be very, very hurt.
Effy laughs. She still has the same giggle she had when she was a little girl, when I did the silliest things just to make her laugh. I really have to hold myself together not to burst into tears on the spot; I never dared to hope I’d have tiny moments like this again.
My wave of nostalgia comes to an end when the door closes behind Effy. That’s when I start to feel how cold the weather has left me. I zip up the parka she returned to me; It still holds her warmth.
Yosh and I shuffle carefully down the icy stairs. At the bottom, I take his hand, giving it a strong squeeze.
“Want to walk with me a bit? I need to talk to my other child.”
Chapter fifty
Yosh
The Wolf’s Den is nothing more than a distant light as we step into the dark.
I stay close behind Tom as we make our way through the snow, the lake and the lodges behind us as we move deeper into the woods. Every tree looks the same, and it’s beginning to feel like we’re walking without direction.
