I make it to the bathroom. I don’t puke, but I sit on the cool tile for a moment.
What exactly happened last night? Besides the obvious.
Tequila.
Tequila definitely happened. But what else?
I remember the humiliating parts vividly. Stupid Raquel and Devon’s revelations. I remember being on the dance floor, jumping up and down, screamingI don’t care!along with Icona Pop.
Spoiler alert: I did care.
Very much.
I danced my heart out and screamed with the lyrics because it was so much better than crying.
Dancing is almost always better than crying.
But slowly, the other memories filter through. Miller’s gentle smile as he pushed aglass of water into my hand. His quiet assertion that Raquel is a colleague. His hand at my elbow as I walked back to my room. My bold declaration.
I only bought this dress…
Oh, God.
My stomach flips again, and this time I do throw up, emptying the contents of my stomach into the toilet.
There’s a glass of water on the bathroom counter within reach. Almost like someone knew I’d need to rinse my mouth out first thing in the morning. I do, then sit back on the floor, feeling both better and worse.
Clearly, puking was the right move because my stomach has settled. But emotionally?
Sweet baby Jesus.
Did I really say that?
Out loud?
To Miller?
Yes. Yes, I believe all of that is true.
But how did he respond? Why can’t I remember that?
Obviously, he didn’t take my dress off, or he’d still be here. Right?
And why do I remember telling him about Cinnamoroll? Oh dear.
You know what’s even less sexy than a woman who can’t hold her liquor?
A grown woman talking about Hello Kitty and the entire Sanrio universe of characters.
And yet…
Somehow, I don’t remember him being revolted by my drunken behavior.
My memories of everything after that are as elusive as a dream — they slip from my hands every time I try to grab onto them.
Miller’s lips on my skin. Not my mouth. Not a proper kiss. But not… not a kiss either. An almost-kiss. A hint of a kiss. A promise of a kiss.
I shiver. Not from the cold tile, but from the memory of something much more pleasant.
