I didn’t know why it was so hard to admit that I’d allowed myself to be unfulfilled and figured it was easier to do nothing than to accept some responsibility for my actions.
“I’m ready for a change,” I answered. It wasn’t the whole truth, but it was honest nonetheless.
Will nodded like he, maybe, understood. “Me too.”
After a long moment, he said, “Okay. But we’re still holding interviews. You’ll have to apply like anyone else. But I’ll back you if this is what you want, Mac.”
“It is,” I assured him, feeling my heart rate gallop as if to confirm my words.
He leaned forward, gray flannel straining across his shoulders as he rested his forearms on the desk. “No more changing the prices by a penny.”
“Right,” I said, dipping my chin in shame-faced agreement. That had been dumb.
“I mean it. That shit is annoying. You and Judd need to grow up.”
I swallowed hard, thinking he was probably right.
When I wandered out of Will’s office a few minutes later with a spring in my step, I found Larry waiting on me with a coffee in one hand and one of Chloe’s pastries in the other.
“Well,” she said, eyes huge and expectant. “What the hell was that all about?”
We were on shift at the tree lot in ten minutes, so I tilted my head in that direction. “Let’s walk and talk.” Plus, I didn’t want Will to overhear anything and change his mind about supporting me.
As my boots traveled over the worn path, past the fencing decorated with warm white lights, I admitted quietly, “I told Will I want to be considered for the general manager position.”
“You did? Why?” my cousin asked, slightly horrified.
I frowned. “It seemed like it was time, you know, for me to step up and take on more. Stop acting like the high schoolers we hire for the summer.”
Larry pulled me to a stop near the ticket booth. “Does this have something to do with the other night? When you asked me if I thought Will was right about you? The nine-to-five thing? I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”
I shook my head. “You didn’t hurt my feelings. I asked you because I trust you to be honest with me. And, I think, I needed to hear that. It was the truth, but I didn’t want it to be. I needsomethingdifferent. I don’t know. I don’t even have my own place. I still live with my grandparents, Larry. I need to grow up and stop coasting by.”
“That feels like a gross oversimplification, but okay,” she murmured, then took a huge bite of almond croissant. When she’d finished chewing, she said seriously, “But is taking over for Will—being general manager of the farm—something you actually want?”
I took a deep breath and considered her question. I did love the farm. And I loved working with Larry and seeing her every day. She was my cousin, but she was also my best friend. I think I’d done the easy thing for so long because it felt safe. Stepping into a new role would be scary, but in a good way.
“Yeah, I think it is,” I finally replied.
Throughout my shift, I thought about what the future might look like. I let the giddy feeling of something new on the horizon fill me up. This could be a chance for me to put down roots instead of just hovering on the surface.
The excitement bubbled up in my chest the more I thought about it. I realized I wanted to tell Brady so I could get his opinion. Then I smiled to myself, thinking how he’d probably try to invent a manager position over at Judd’s Orchard to even things up.
My smile faded just as quickly when I remembered the way he’d looked at me on Friday. I needed to talk to him. Sex clearly hadn’t simplified anything. And it definitely hadn’t made me want him any less. Maybe I could fix what I’d broken between us.
“Hey,” Larry said later when we finally had a lull in foot traffic. “You think Will stepping back at the farm has anything to do with Becca? I am ready for him to get his head out of his ass and go get that girl.”
“Me too.” I grinned, considering once again, that stubbornness was a family trait, and I had some cranial extraction work of my own to do.
twelve
MAC
When I was eight, I accidentally stole my neighbor’s dog.
Well, it wasn’t an accident. Not really. I’d wanted her dog and thought I’d be a much better pet owner. So I’d taken him.
Mrs. Landrum’s land bordered Grandpappy’s. She was friendly with my family and attended service on Sunday at the same church. But I really felt like her chocolate Lab, Baker, needed more attention.
