‘Thanks for the apology,’ Lucy said, sarcasm dripping from her voice as she hung up the phone. She wasn’t sure if he had even heard her. She wanted to scream with annoyance. Salty tears sprang unwelcome into her eyes. God he was so infuriating when he was like this. She had a sneaking suspicion that he didn’thaveto stay and work, he just couldn’t be bothered to go and spend the weekend with Jo and Matt. He would probably just do some emailing on his BlackBerry whilst sitting on the sofa watchingGame of Thrones. But she couldn’t exactly prove her suspicions, unless she cut short her weekend and came back to surprise him. She doubted that would go down well with Jo, either.
Gritting her teeth in frustration, she scrolled through her contacts until she found Jo’s number. Pressing the dial button, she made the call, apologizing profusely on behalf of Alex, exaggerating about this enormous case that he had on at the moment and lying about how upset he had been to have to cancel. Jo, as always, was so sweet and understanding but Lucy could hear the disappointment in her voice.
Hanging up the phone, Lucy spent the rest of the morning ploughing through her work with flagging spirits, her emotions on a roller coaster from anger to sadness as she thought about their argument. To make matters worse she had been invited to go to a working lunch with Jack and another colleague, Sharon, to discuss ideas for a new social enterprise project that was in the early days of development. Lucy had been asked along because of her previous experience in the field and she had been looking forward to being involved in something more meaningful than her usual commercial projects but Alex’s phone call had put a dampener on everything.
Despite her initial lack of enthusiasm the meeting turned out to be a very productive session. The three of them soon found that they were bouncing ideas off each other at the rate of knots. The creative energy lifted her spirits and gave her a much-needed boost. After lunch Sharon had to dash off, leaving Lucy and Jack to finish their coffees and settle up.
‘That was really good,’ said Jack. ‘You have some great ideas.’
‘So do you! It sounds like quite an exciting project,’ agreed Lucy.
‘So how are things with you?’ he asked, leaning back in his seat and fiddling with his napkin. He turned to look at her and she was struck with that familiar feeling deep in the pit of her stomach. It was always the same; when he gave her his complete attention, she felt a nervous energy pulse through her, it almost made her feel uncomfortable.
Realizing she hadn’t answered him, she cleared her throat. She suddenly felt like crying, the emotional roller coaster of the last few weeks had left her reeling. She felt like a boat that had become detached from its mooring. The clear path she had seen herself on had disappeared. She didn’t know what to think or how to feel. She just felt lost. ‘I’m okay,’ she said but before she could stop herself, her eyes had welled up with tears.
‘Lucy, what’s wrong?’ asked Jack. He moved slightly closer to her.
She shook her head, cross with herself for not being able to control her emotions better.
‘It’s nothing,’ said Lucy. ‘I’m just overtired.’ He reached out and put his arm around her shoulders. It felt so natural, she did nothing to stop him. In fact, it felt nice to have someone paying her attention, to feel the warmth of physical contact. It had been a while since Alex had bothered.
‘Is there something upsetting you at work?’ he asked.
Lucy shook her head. ‘No, it’s not that. It’s nothing to do with work… I’m sorry, it’s nothing really. And I definitely don’t want to bore you with it.’
‘You’re not boring me, I promise. If you want to talk, tell me.’
‘I’m just having a few… personal problems,’ she said quietly, dabbing at her eyes with the corner of a napkin. She didn’t want to go into any details but felt she had to offer some explanation for her inappropriately timed tears.
‘Relationships can be tough,’ he said. He had rightly assumed that she was talking about Alex.
‘I know… they really can be.’ When she looked at him, she could see that he was talking from his own experience.
‘To tell you the truth… and please, don’t go spreading this around the office… my wife and I have decided to take a break from each other for a while. She’s got the kids and I’m staying at my brother’s while we try and figure things out.’
‘I’m so sorry to hear that,’ said Lucy, genuinely moved for him.
‘We’ve talked a lot and we both feel like maybe the time has come for a change,’ he explained. ‘She thinks that we’re stuck in a rut and we need some time apart to re-evaluate.’
‘My goodness, you poor thing.’
They sat in quiet contemplation for a few moments, lost in their thoughts. Lucy was slightly taken aback by this sudden revelation. After a while she said, ‘Do you think any relationships actually last the distance?’ It seemed to her that most were doomed to failure. She clung to the thought of her parents’ long and happy marriage as evidence that it was, in fact, possible. Thank god for them.
‘I’m afraid I’m the wrong person to ask,’ he said with a deep sigh. ‘Look, I’m sure things will get better soon,’ said Jack. ‘But if you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here. Just remember that.’ He tucked a curl of hair behind her ear and ran his thumb down the side of her cheek, just as he had done that night in the bar. A shiver ran down her spine.
‘Thanks Jack,’ she said. She reached over and hugged him, squeezing him tightly. He was so warm and comforting. She didn’t want to let go. Neither of them broke contact with the other. They sat like that for a few minutes. Jack rubbed her back softly and she could hear him breathe in deeply. As they parted he leant closer and kissed her gently just on the corner of her mouth. Her heart looped the loop and she had to use all her willpower not to turn her lips up to his and kiss him properly, partly to spite Alex and partly because Jack was so irresistibly handsome. But she knew it was pointless. He was a great guy, despite his dubious loyalty to his wife, and she had to admit it felt wonderful to know the effect that she had on him, but she could never go there. It wouldn’t be right. She gave his hand a gentle squeeze and smiled at him, then reached for her bag.
‘I’d better get back to work, I’ve got a few things left to do before the weekend finally arrives,’ she said.
‘I’ll settle up here and see you back at the office,’ said Jack. ‘I’ve got a couple of calls to make. Have a good weekend. Remember, if you ever need to talk…’
‘Thanks Jack,’ she said.
As she walked back to the office, her hand traced the corner of her mouth where he had kissed her.
Later on that evening as she sat around the fire sipping red wine with Matt and Jo in their cosy, ramshackle cottage in Hampshire, she envied their easy, happy relationship. She wondered if she and Alex would ever reach that comfortable stage acquired by so many years together, and hoped and prayed that things would get better between them. She kept her phone on vibrate in her pocket, half expecting it to buzz with an apologetic text from Alex like he would have done in the past after they had had an argument. But there were no texts, no calls.
On Saturday the three of them went for a long walk in the New Forest, the tall trees towering over their heads, whispering in the wind. Lucy was mesmerized by the wild ponies that roamed across the downs; the whole place had a mystical feel to it. In the evening they went to the local pub, The Frog and Forget-me-not, to sample their famous steak and ale pies. Afterwards, a local band began to play, and they stayed to listen to the live music, chatting with some of Jo and Matt’s friends from the village. Lucy found she was really enjoying herself, forgetting all about Alex and getting quite tipsy on pints of the local cider.
