Libby’s heart plummeted. Oh my god, she thought. Jules had had an affair. Suddenly she knew it; it all made perfect sense. ‘Have you cheated on Angus?’ she asked. She could tell from the look on Jules’s face that she was right. She had hit the nail on the head.
Jules nodded, ever so slightly.
‘Oh my god! Jules! How could you? Poor Angus!’ Libby knew this probably wasn’t what Jules wanted to hear, but her heart broke for him. She felt absolutely furious with Jules for hurting him, and at the same time shocked beyond belief that Jules could consider doing such a thing. What the hell was she thinking?
‘Who was it?’ she asked. All she could think of was Angus’s face: how hurt, shocked and humiliated he would be if he found out.
‘I can’t tell you,’ Jules replied. She couldn’t make eye contact with Libby.
‘Do I know him?’ Libby’s mind reeled with potential candidates; she scanned through all their mutual friends, wondering who on earth it could possibly be. Jules wouldn’t answer the question.
‘Is he married?’ she asked. Her pulse was racing with anger on Angus’s behalf.
Jules nodded again, just a fraction, but enough to confirm what Libby had suspected.
‘Jules!’ Libby’s mind was reeling. She didn’t know what to say. This was the most awful news she had ever heard.
‘Don’t tell Angus,’ Jules said. ‘You have to swear you won’t.’
She looked so miserable and so fragile sitting there opposite her, her eyes begging Libby to agree to protect her secret. Libby wanted to reach out and hug her. But she was too cross.
‘I don’t know, Jules He’s just as close a friend to me as you are.’ Her heart swelled with emotion at the thought of him.
‘It will kill him,’ Jules said simply. ‘It’ll destroy our marriage. You can’t. Not even Luca. Promise me you won’t say a word.’
Slowly Libby nodded. She was right; it would destroy Angus. What a position to be put in. She wished she had never asked. How was she ever supposed to face Angus again knowing this secret? And why should she choose Jules over Angus? There was no way out of this without betraying either one of her best friends. Her head spun with the reality of what she had heard.
‘When did it happen?’
‘I don’t want to talk about it. I’m sorry, Libby. I feel sick with shame; I couldn’t help myself. I can’t say anything more.’
Libby didn’t know what to do. They sat in awkward silence for a while before Jules tried to change the subject, asking Libby about work. Libby responded to her questions automatically, but she was too shocked and upset with Jules to really engage with her.
She left shortly after, walking all the way home. She couldn’t believe her best friend was capable of having an affair, of being the potential cause of the destruction of not only her own marriage, but someone else’s. No wonder she looked so terrible. Living with the guilt must be awful. Libby couldn’t help but think that Jules deserved to feel so bad. Every time she thought about Angus she wanted to cry. He was the kindest, loveliest man she knew and the last person on earth who deserved to be treated like this. Not only was Jules denying him the chance of having a family, despite knowing how much it hurt him, she had now shown utter contempt for him and their marriage vows by acting so despicably.
For the rest of the day, Libby’s thoughts raced. She held Izzy close and rocked her gently, thanking god for her own little family. Her and Luca’s relationship certainly wasn’t perfect. They weren’t as close as they once had been, and she knew deep down that Luca wasn’t entirely happy with their life together here in London, but she trusted him and she was grateful for that.
