“No, you won’t because you’re very much pregnant. Both of y’all need to calm down and just talk it out without the violence,” Calina decided to step in.
“I am calm. Tell the pit bull to stand down because it’s not that serious,” I said taking a seat, unbothered by her theatrics.
“Dawn for real though, why you so mad?” Calina asked the million-dollar question.
“Josiaha asked me if I knew something about you and Trust and when I didn’t answer him quick enough or directly, he cut me off. Josiaha and Paxton are good men Yani, why the hell did you even let me in on this dumb shit?”
She was yelling but she was also crying at the same time. I was hurting entirely too many people and that was never my objective. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone to be honest. I was doing me for once.
“I’m sorry. I was just enjoying my freedom and not thinking about anyone but myself. However, Josiaha leaving isn’t my fault. That was something he chose to do.”
“She’s right, Dawn. Everything happening is involving her, Trust, and Paxton. Your man did what he did for his own personal reasons. Maybe you should have that conversation with him and not blame Yani,” Winnie chimed in.
She sat down and silently cried. Things were going good for us both and I had to mess it up by getting back with someone I knew meant me no good. I learned lesson after lesson dealing with Trust and today was my final one. I hate that it took this long to realize it.
“Look, I got enough I’m dealing with on my own. Paxton ran into both me and Trust in the mall today. Things were so awkward, and I just panicked. He’s never going to speak to me again,” I commented as I twiddled my fingers.
“That’s a lie. You’re pregnant with that nigga babies. He has no choice but to speak to you. When do you plan on letting him in on that?”
“Lina that man has blocked my number already. I couldn’t even call and explain myself. His silence is so fuckin’ loud.”
She took a seat next to me and began to console me. I didn’t know how I would get him to hold a conversation. It was clear that I didn’t have the privilege to converse with him anymore. It was hurting to know that I was cut off so easily.
Suddenly, the doorbell rang, and Winnie went to check it out. I didn’t mind because I didn’t want to move anyhow. I really didn’t have the strength to do so. I felt so damn drained from all the bullshit that was going on. When she returned, she had a gift box in tow. Curiosity spiked.
Handing it over, I began to inspect it. I couldn’t tell who it was from. Opening it, I immediately recognized the label. Elegant Problems was one of my favorite boutiques. However, I never ordered this dress. I removed it from the package, and it was absolutely gorgeous.
“So, you out here doing this man dirty and he’s spoiling you like this? Is this an invitation to his mother’s birthday party?” She held up a card. “I wonder if I ask for an invitation if I’ll get a dress as well.”
I rolled my eyes at Calina’s statement. I had forgot all about Mrs. Henrietta’s event. Since Dawn didn’t really need my help, I busied myself with Paxton.Damn!
“This is a beautiful dress, but I’m not going. I don’t want to ruin their moment with each other.”
“You’ll be able to discuss your pregnancy though. Whether he wants to deal with you or not, those babies aren’t going anywhere.”
“Don’t you think I know that, Winnie? He’s probably going through so much emotionally that I don’t want to cause more harm to him by showing up. Maybe I’ll just sit this one out and send him an ultrasound or something.”
“Whatever you do, it needs to be done quick. Don’t let him miss out on them growing in your womb. That time is special for everyone.”
I nodded at Calina’s words and looked to Dawn. She had nothing to say as she sat in her own little world quietly. I was going to fix her relationship even if it damaged mine more.
My girls stayed and tried to be there for me as best they could, even Dawn. I didn’t know how I let myself believe that what I was doing was right. It was selfish and greedy, and karma came back to do her job. Lina warned me about this and now I was feeling the effects of it.
Paxton and I also had a business relationship, and I was so scared for Buy a Heart and what he would do with my company because 50 Shades of Melanin was a perfect home for my questionnaires, but I had no clue if my services would still be used. I toyed with his heart and the consequences were ones for which I wasn’t prepared.
“Hey, we’re going to head out. We cleaned up and everything. Brendon is coming with me and then I’ll keep him and get Rell as well for the rest of the week and bring him back on Sunday. Youneed to get your mind right and then confront Paxton. Good luck friend. I hope it all works out.”
“Thanks Lina. I appreciate you so much for real.”
She nodded and walked away. I just wanted some time to accept that I really treated genuine people like I didn’t care about them. Dawn stated several times how she felt about Josiaha and how things were different with him. I dropped more than one ball and now I was in turmoil.
&
I was pushing it, but he hadn’t answered my calls, text or even work emails. I understood him needing time, but I was desperate. My nerves were jumping like a toddler hyped up on sugar. I didn’t know who he told or what he would do but I was chancing it.
I did a quick once over through my visor and approved of my appearance. The threads that Paxton had delivered was stunning, but it was a tight fit. I wondered why Winnie eyed my stomach that day in the restaurant and in this gown, you could clearly see what had her attention.
My twins were starting to poke and with me being damn near four months, they wanted the world to see them. My pudge was very visible.
