Putting the finishing touches on my lips, I gathered my clutch and stepped out. I had chills throughout my body, and it wasn’t from the cool breeze. I wasn’t prepared for rejection in any shape or form.
Guests passed by and I was still trotting inside. I needed God by my side because this visit could make or break Paxton and me.
When I stepped into the room, I felt like every eye was on me when truly there were none. My nerves had the best of me, and I just couldn’t function properly.
I scanned the floor and before I could take another step, Patience approached me.
“Yani, you need to leave.”
“I just need a minute with him, Patience. He won’t talk to me and I’m going crazy not having access to him.”
“Look, I’m trying not to get in y’all business but why would you think you deserve any more of his time?”
“Because there are things I have to explain. I really need to see him.” I looked pass her with tears in my eyes.
“You aren’t supposed to be here, Yani. Please leave.”
“I can’t.”
I moved past her and proceeded to make my way further into the room. Paxton was the mission, and I wasn’t stopping until I spoke with him. I was a lone army, but he was worth the hassle.
I came across Mrs. Henrietta first and when she saw me, she gave me sympathizing eyes. I should’ve known that he let his family in on everything. I loved her to death and hurting her son was never in my plans. She had to understand that.
“Oh sweetie, did Paxton forget to uninvite you?” Her question hurt but I knew why she asked.
“I’m not sure, but have you seen him? I really have to talk to him.”
“Yani, I don’t thi?—”
“Mrs. Henrietta, I really don’t want to hear what you have to say right now other than you telling me where he is. I need this conversation with him. Respectfully.”
It took her a while to respond but when she did, she showed me his direction.
“He’s over by the bar, but Yani, I’d appreciate it if you spoke your peace then left. This truly isn’t the place for you two to hash out your issues.”
“Yes ma’am.”
I stepped away and headed for the destination she gave. I was on edge and already battling with myself. I didn’t need anyone else’s negativity even though this was all my fault. If I wasn’t discussing things with Paxton, everyone else could honestly kiss my ass.
My eyes landed on him, and my heartbeat became irregular. He effected me tremendously and everything we developed together wasn’t trying to be let go. I wanted more from him and although I messed up, I wanted a second chance to prove to him those three words weren’t going down in vain.
As the distance between us closed, his cologne invaded my nostrils. The last time I was able to enjoy his scent, I was laying on his chest relaxing to the flow of his heartbeat and strokes of his fingers on my back. I missed him and all the security he provided.
I stood behind him hesitating to touch him. Beforehand, I couldn’t keep my hands off him but now I was having an internal debate on whether that was the right thing to do.
“I don’t want to talk, Yani.” Without me saying a word or making contact, he knew it was me.
“Paxton, give me a minute to lay everything out for you. You don’t even know all the details.”
“I know enough.”
I was losing before I could get a full explanation out. He didn’t want to hear shit I had to say, and I didn’t blame him. However, there was so much that needed to be said on my behalf and I really wished he would give me the opportunity to speak.
“Can we go?—”
“There you are. I was looking all over for you. I want to dance a little.”
A very attractive woman appeared out of nowhere and interrupted what little conversation Paxton and I shared. Jealousy coursed through my veins instantly. He wasted no time replacing me and that hurt me more than him not speaking to me.
