He laughed. She recognised the laugh, but didn’t entirely like it. She had forgotten how often during their relationship Dan’s humour hinged on other people, specifically Nora. When they’d been together, she had tried not to dwell on this aspect of his personality. He’d had so many other aspects – he had been so lovely to her mum when she was ill, and he could talk at ease about anything, he was so full of dreams about the future, he was attractive and easy to be around, and he was passionate about art and always stopped to chat to the homeless. He cared about the world. A person was like a city. You couldn’t let a few less desirable parts put you off the whole. There may be bits you don’t like, a few dodgy side streets and suburbs, but the good stuff makes it worthwhile.
He had listened to a lot of annoying podcasts that he thought Nora should listen to, and laughed in a way that grated on her, and gargled loudly with mouthwash. And yes, he hogged the duvet and could occasionally be arrogant in his opinions on art and film and music, but there was nothing overtlywrongwith him. Well – now that she thought about it – he’d never been supportive of her music career, and had advised her that being in The Labyrinths and signing a music deal would be bad for her mental health, and that her brother was being a bit selfish. But at the time she had viewed that not so much as a red flag but a green one. Her thinking was: he cared, and it was nice to have someone who cared, who wasn’t bothered about fame and superficialities, and could help navigate the waters of life. And so when he had asked her to marry him, in the cocktail bar on the top floor of the Oxo Tower, she had agreed and maybe she had always been right to agree.
He stepped forward into the room, placed his pint down momentarily and was now on his phone, looking up better pub quiz questions.
She wondered how much he had drunk tonight. She wondered if the dream of owning a pub had really been a dream of drinking an endless supply of alcohol.
‘What is the name of a twenty-sided polygon?’
‘I don’t know,’ Nora lied, not wanting to risk a similar reaction to the one she’d received a moment ago.
He put the phone in his pocket.
‘We did well, though. They all drank loads tonight. Not bad for a Tuesday. Things are looking up. I mean, there’s something to tell the bank tomorrow. Maybe they’ll give us an extension on the loan ...’
He stared at the beer in his glass, swilled it around a little, then downed it.
‘Though I’ve got to tell A.J. to change the lunch menu. No one in Littleworth wants to eat candied beetroot and broad bean salad and corn cakes. This isn’t pissing Fitzrovia. And I know they’re going down well, but I think those wines you chose aren’t worth it. Especially the Californian ones.’
‘Okay.’
He turned and looked behind him. ‘Where’s the board?’
‘What?’
‘The chalkboard. Thought you’d brought it in?’
Sothatwas what she had been outside for.
‘No. No. I’m going to do it now.’
‘Thought I saw you go out.’
Nora smiled away her nerves. ‘Yes, well, I did. I had to ... I was worried about our cat. Volts. Voltaire. I couldn’t find him so I went outside to look for him and then I found him, didn’t I?’
Dan was back behind the bar, pouring himself a scotch.
He seemed to sense she was judging him. ‘This is only my third. Fourth, maybe. It’s quiz night. You know I get nervous doing the compering. And it helps me be funny. And I was funny, don’t you reckon?’
‘Yes. Very funny. Total funniness.’
His face fell into a serious mode. ‘I saw you talking to Erin. What did she say?’
Nora wasn’t sure how best to answer this. ‘Oh, nothing much. The usual stuff. You know Erin.’
‘The usual stuff? I didn’t think you’d ever spoken to her before.’
‘I meant the usual stuff that people say. Not what Erin says. Usual people stuff ...’
‘How’s Will doing?’
‘Er, really well,’ Nora guessed. ‘He says hi.’
Dan’s eyes popped wide with surprise. ‘Really?’
Nora had no idea what to say. Maybe Will was a baby. Maybe Will was in a coma. ‘Sorry, no, he didn’t say hi. Sorry, I’m not thinking. Anyway, I’ll ... go and get the board.’
She put the cat down on the floor and headed back out. This time she noticed something she had missed on entering.
