‘That’s creepy, Hugo. Studying women at breakfast.’
‘And I noticed things.’
Nora lifted her scarf over her face. ‘It’s too cold. Can we talk about this tomorrow?’
‘I noticed you improvising. All day you have been non-committal in everything you say.’
‘Not true. I’m just shook up. You know, the bear.’
‘Non. Ce n’est pas ça. I’m talking about before the bear. And after the bear. And all day.’
‘I have no idea what you’re—’
‘There is a look. I have seen it before in other people. I’d recognise it anywhere.’
‘I have no idea what you are talking about.’
‘Why do glaciers pulsate?’
‘What?’
‘This is your area of study. It’s why you’re here, isn’t it?’
‘The science isn’t entirely settled on the matter.’
‘Okay. Bien. Name me one of the glaciers around here. Glaciers have names. Name one ... Kongsbreen? Nathorstbreen? Ring any bells?’
‘I don’t want this conversation.’
‘Because you aren’t the same person you were yesterday, are you?’
‘None of us are,’ said Nora, briskly. ‘Our brains change. It’s called neuroplasticity. Please. Stop mansplaining glaciers to a glaciologist, Hugo.’
Hugo seemed to retreat a little and she felt a bit guilty. There was a minute of silence. Just the crunch of their feet in the snow. They were nearly back at the accommodation, the others not too far behind them.
But then, he said it.
‘I am like you, Nora. I visit lives that aren’t mine. I have been in this one for five days. But I have been in many others. I was given an opportunity – a rare opportunity – for this to happen. I have been sliding between lives for a long while.’
Ingrid grabbed Nora’s arm.
‘I still have some vodka,’ she announced as they reached the door. She held her key card in her glove and tapped it against the scanner. The door opened.
‘Listen,’ Hugo mumbled, conspiratorially, ‘if you want to know more, meet me in the communal kitchen in five minutes.’
And Nora felt her heart race, but this time she had no ladle or saucepan to bang. She didn’t particularlylikethis Hugo character, but was far too intrigued not to hear what he had to say. And she also wanted to know if he could be trusted.
‘Okay,’ she said. ‘I’ll be there.’
Expectation
Nora had always had a problem accepting herself. From as far back as she could remember, she’d had the sense that she wasn’t enough. Her parents, who both had their own insecurities, had encouraged that idea.
She imagined, now, what it would be like to accept herself completely. Every mistake she had ever made. Every mark on her body. Every dream she hadn’t reached or pain she had felt. Every lust or longing she had suppressed.
She imagined accepting it all. The way she accepted nature. The way she accepted a glacier or a puffin or the breach of a whale.
She imagined seeing herself as just another brilliant freak of nature. Just another sentient animal, trying their best.
