“Are you okay?” I asked him.
“Are you guys okay?” he asked back.
“We’re good,” I said. I tried to sound casual and chilled but somehow it hadn’t come out exactly in the way I planned for it to. It sounded more panicky and on edge, which was how I felt. I just wasn’t too sure why, though.
“Really? Anything happen that I should know about?” He looked from Alex to me and then back again.
Alex seemed to stiffen up in his seat a little, then shuffled from side to side a few times. “No. All good,” he said, sipping his drink.
“If you guys say so,” Julian teased.
I scrunched my face up at him.What was he getting at here?
“So what’s next on your list?” Julian asked.
What was next actually?That was a good question. I took the magazine out of my bag and laid it on the bar. I ran my finger down the page. Everything was ticked. Except for the last one.
“Shit!” I said.
“What?” Julian asked.
“We’ve done them all, except for the last one.” How the hell had I forgotten about this last one?
“What’s the last one?” Julian asked.
I started reading. “ ‘Number Ten. Get Over Him By Getting Under Someone Else. Well, you have come to the end of the list, and are now probably ready to take the biggest and most important step of all! This is the final step, the one that will launch you over the threshold and into your new life without him. It will turn you from pining ex to whining ex (whining someone else’s name in bed, that is). Because it’s true, the best way to get over someone, once and for all, is by getting under someone else. So book a sesh with the waxologist—and we don’t mean for your brows. Pull out the lingerie and find someone else. He doesn’t have to be a keeper—in fact, it’s better if he’s not. This isn’t about getting into another relationship (remember number one). He just needs to be there to help you ride over that last hump—pun intended. And don’t worry, it really is like riding a bicycle, once you’re in the saddle, it should all come back to you.’ ”
There was a general pause after I’d finished reading as I think we all let it sink in. And then, suddenly, Julian burst out laughing.
“What?” I looked over at him.
He continued to laugh and shake his head at us. “Of all the people I’ve met here at the bar over the years, you two have to be the weirdest!”
“That’s not true. You met a woman that killed her husband,” I whispered over at him.
Julian continued to laugh. “You’re so gullible. I only told you those stories so you would tell me yours.”
“Bastard!” I exclaimed playfully.
Julian shrugged. “What can I say, I love a good story. So . . . where are you going to go to get laid?”
“Laid?” I suddenly flung my hands over my mouth and giggled uncontrollably. “That’s such a trashy word.”
“Well, it is what you’re doing,” he said to us.
Alex and I looked at each other and then Alex turned to Julian. “Any suggestions?”
“Well, it depends what you’re into.” He leaned over the bar, looking very comfortable. “The metal heads and the ones that dress in black hang out in Club X, the hipsters are all twirling their moustaches and sipping their artisan teas at This Is Not A Club, then there’s Club Dungeon, but I wouldn’t go there, unless you’re into that kind of thing.” He paused. “I mean, you could be?” He looked at us and raised his brows in question.
“What kind of thing?” Alex asked.
“You know . . . whips, chains, leather, latex, the occasional bloodletting and sex dolls?” Julian burst out laughing again.
Alex shook his head. “No, thanks. I think I’ve had enough of all that to last me a lifetime.”
“I know.” Julian snapped his fingers. “Go to Liquid. It’s quite fancy, so you’ll need to dress up, but the people there seem normal.”
“Okay, thanks,” I said.
