‘Wordy, long-winded, loquaciousorgarrulous.’
I registered another smile on Andrew’s face, and then he bumped me with his shoulder. It seemed like a purposeful bump, not an accidental one. I wasn’t sure whether to bump him back.
‘They are certainly that. Not to mention very enthusiastic,’ he added.
‘Exuberant, vigorous, ardentandspirited,’ I recited.
‘Indeed.’ Andrew sighed, long and loud, and then pushed himself off the counter. ‘Come on, let’s go. They might get the wrong idea if we stay in here for too long.’
‘What wrong idea?’
‘You know.’ He grinned at me and I shook my head.
‘That we’re, you know, engaged in some bathroom-stall shenanigans.’
‘And by “shenanigans” you mean sex?’ I asked, catching on.
‘You really don’t beat around the bush, do you?’
‘I like to call things what they really are. And I also don’t like sayings like “beat around the bush” either. They also don’t describe things accurately.’
‘Well, in that case, then, yes,sex.That we’re having sex in the bathroom stall.’
‘I would never have sex in a bathroom, ever,’ I said, heading towards the door. I pushed it open and stopped walking. ‘And I’m certainly not having sex with you in apublicbathroom! That’s even worse than normal bathroom sex.’
‘Beg your pardon?’
I swung around at the voice and came face to face with an older-looking man. His eyes were wide, and he flicked them from me to Andrew and back again.
‘We weren’t really talking about havingactualsex in the bathroom, by the way,’ I quickly clarified. ‘It was more a hypothetical conversation about bathroom sex in general, as opposed to a specific conversation about the act of sex.’
‘I, um . . .’ The man put his hands in the air and crab-walked past me as if he didn’t want to touch me. ‘No worries. Didn’t mean to interrupt the . . . Anyway, whatever floats your boat, right?’ He looked at Andrew strangely before disappearing into a cubicle.
‘My boat wasn’t floated,’ I called after him. ‘No one’s boat was floated in this bathroom, I can assure you of that.’
The man did not reply, and I was just about to walk up to his door, knock and ask him to respond, when I felt an arm slip through mine.
‘Let’s go,’ Andrew said, pulling me away, much like he’d done in the aquarium.
‘But I don’t want that man thinking I was going to have sex in the bathroom with you—’ We almost bumped into someone else as we exited the door. This time, the person was a woman.
‘We didn’t’ – I quickly said to her, and gestured back to the bathroom – ‘have sex in there, in case you were thinking we did have sex, and—’
Andrew gave me another tug and led me out the bathroom.
‘Oh my God, what’s with you talking about sex in public and always getting caught! Mermaid sex, bathroom sex, what’s next?’
‘I’m not purposefully talking about sex,’ I argued.
‘I know, and that’s what makes it even funnier.’ He led us back to the table and, as soon as we got there, Melissa was on our case.
‘Someone was in the bathroom for a very long time.’ She drew out the words in a strange tone while winking her right eye at me.
‘We did not have sex in the bathroom,’ I said on an exasperated outbreath. ‘Why does everyone think I’m having sex in the bathroom, with you?’
Andrew laughed, and I swung around and gave him a look. He stopped laughing immediately. ‘We did not have sex in the bathroom, I can confirm that!’ he said, laughter gone but still smiling. ‘No boats were floated at all.’
‘Sounds like you guys are protesting way too much,’ Melissa said.
