“Like what?”
“Like this is all fun and games when it isn’t, not after everything that happened between us. Not after thirteen years and a mountain of emotional shit.”
I stopped smiling and started nodding. “Sorry, you’re right. This isn’t as simple as two people who are attracted to each other. It’s complicated.”
“Complicated is an understatement. And besides . . .” She started walking towards the door now, as if her internal battle was over and one side had won. She looked determined. “I am on a detox! And you are not healthy for me! You are cheesecake, Max, and I need celery juice.”
CHAPTER 29
Ash
I rushed out into the night again. I should not be running back and forth between tents in the dark like this. This was dangerous! God, what was I thinking? This was all dangerous.Maxwas dangerous, and yet I kept flirting with the irresistible danger of him, despite my better judgement. I was waging a war between body and brain right now, and my body seemed to keep wanting to win.
“Wait!”
I stopped running and turned round at Max’s voice.
“What?” I asked, out of breath.
“Your T-shirt, you forgot it.” He was standing there in his towel, looking way too hot for his own good, dangling my T-shirt from his finger. It took my brain a moment to register.
“Shit.” I gasped and tried to cover myself. How the hell had I not realized I’d run out half naked. I looked down and almost choked when I realized that the bra I was wearing was none other than my totally see-through white mesh one. I quickly cupped my breasts in my hands. God, why had I not chosen another bra for this? One that did not leave so little to the imagination.
“You can just toss it, thanks.” I gripped my breasts tightly.
“Toss it?”
“Yes, just toss it there, onto the walkway. I’ll get it.”
“No, Ash, I am not tossing your clothes around. It feels totally disrespectful.” He started walking towards me.
“No, stop. I’ll come and get it then.” I wanted to at least have some power and control over this moment, so I started walking towards him. He stood still, holding the T-shirt out for me. I locked eyes with him and started making my way down the walkway. He smiled. It was warm and . . .Wait!The way he was looking at me, the way a feeling was swelling inside as I walked, I’m sure this is what it felt like when you were walking down the aisle to meet your future husband or something equally, utterly ridiculous! This was ridiculous. It was all so . . .
“Ridiculous,” I said when I found myself standing right in front of him again. Our eyes were still locked, even if I didn’t want them to be.
“What is?” he asked, voice so soft I almost didn’t catch it.
“All of this.” I reached out for my T-shirt, but he didn’t let go.
“You’re still holding on to my shirt,” I said.
“That’s not what I’m holding on to,” he replied.
“What are you holding on to then?”
“You.”
That one word cut through me like a scalpel. Everything inside me suddenly felt painfully frantic. As if it had all just been woken up from a long hibernation and had sprung back to life, desperate for something.
“I think you should let go,” I managed.
“Should I?” he asked, the wordsso, so loaded.
I didn’t manage to speak this time, simply nodded.
“Not good enough, Ash. I need to hear you say it out loud.”
I straightened up, tightening my grip on my shirt. “I think you should let go of my shirt now, Max.” I said it with as much self-assuredness as I could muster.
