“Are you sure?” he asked, his eyes searching my face for something.
“I am,” I said, and with that, he let go of the shirt and it fell into my hands.
“So, I guess this is goodnight, then?” His eyes left my face, and they momentarily grazed my breasts and stomach. My body physically ached for him, just as it had only moments ago when his hands had been all over it.
“It is. Goodnight, Max,” I said, but was unable to bring myself to move off the spot my feet felt glued to. We looked at each other. One of us had to move, or this wasnotgoing to be the goodnight I intended it to be.
“Goodnight, then, Ash. Sleep tight.” And then he moved. Off the spot, down the walkway, and into his tent. I stood and watched as he walked away, a part of me willing him to stop and look back, and another part of me wanting to run after him and let him have every single inch of my body in any way he liked. But I did none of that. Instead I headed back to my room and collapsed on the bed in utter exhaustion.
Max invaded my dreams that night. I tossed and turned, caught somewhere in an agitated state that I hardly knew what to do with. By 3 a.m. I simply gave up, and didn’t even try to sleep.Every single inch of your body.That phrase ran through my mind over and over and over again.
Every inch?
All the inches?
That inch too?
No one had ever destroyed me like Max had done. Total emotional annihilation. But no one had ever made me feel this palpably, tangibly, sexually alive as he had these last few days either. But it would be a disaster.Wouldn’t it?There was just too much between us, too much had happened, too many things said and done, or not done, in our case. It would be madness hooking up with him, wouldn’t it? After all, he was probably the only person on earth capable of hurting me in a way that I never wanted to be hurt again.
But it would just be sex.
Nothing more.
Just sex.
My body was screaming “sex” and my mind was screaming “no,” and I was finding it very disconcerting.
Do it. Just walk over there and have sex with him. Hot, wild, sweaty sex with the man whodoesown a llama and thereforeisprobably able to give a woman seventeen orgasms and make her come just by looking at her.
Do not do it. Remember all the pain and crying, and all the endless waiting and wanting and—
“Fuck it!”
I grabbed the gown hanging up behind the bathroom door and dashed out of my tent. My mind decided to berate and warn me one last time.
This is not a good idea. Not a good idea. At all.
But I ignored it and continued to run down the wooden planks as fast as I could in case I was going to chicken out. I was going to have sex with him! The thought made me giddy with a kind of effervescent euphoria. There were a few lights illuminating the path, not very well, but just enough for me to see where I was going. I jumped over a stick on the path and then felt a sharp, strange pain on my ankle. I stopped and looked at my ankle—it was bleeding—and then I looked at the stick and that’s when my life started flashing before my eyes.
“HEEEEELP,HEEEEELP,HEEEELP!” I screamed until my vocal cords couldn’t scream anymore. “SNAKE!SNAKE!HELPME! I’VEBEENBITTEN!”
The snake was clearly frightened too. It raised its head and looked at me with its black, beady eyes. It had a huge red smile on its face, as if it was mocking me while wearing red lipstick. I felt suddenly very sick, and then it slipped off the path and into the bush.
“What’s going on?” Max was there in seconds.
“I’m dying!” I said, terror rising and exploding out of me. “A snake! It bit me! I’m going to fucking die!” I pointed to my ankle.
Max’s eyes made a beeline for my ankle and then it looked like every last drop of blood he had rushed out of his body. I’d never seen anyone look so pale. It made me feel pale and dizzy too. A tingly feeling surged over my skin and my head started to buzz.
“I think I’m going to faint!” I grabbed for the banister but missed and started to tumble. Max caught me and lowered me carefully to the ground. “I don’t feel good, Max. My heart, it’s racing. I don’t feel good. Help me.”
“I’ve got you, Ash.”
“I’m dying!” I whimpered at him as the second worst terror I’d ever felt in my life descended. “I’m too young to . . . Oh my God.” I felt frantic now and tried to breathe, but couldn’t. I started hyperventilating as I imagined all the venom surging through my body, attacking my lungs.
“What happened?” Bongani and the manager were there now with huge flashlights.
“She’s been bitten by a snake!”
