She stared at him blankly.
“Good heavens, Madeline, that came out not at all the way I meant it to.”
“It’s all right, Adam, you’re right. I acted hastily, knowing nothing about where I was going or who I was going to. I was just so happy to be leaving, I suppose I stuck my head in the sand.”
Maybe she fudged the truth a little, leaving out the part about wanting to marryhimbecause he was the man of her dreams, but she couldn’t very well tell him everything.
“Why would you be so happy to leave? Was your father that much of a tyrant?”
Odd, that Madeline had come to Nova Scotia to escape and hide from the scandal that had ruined her, yet now found herself wanting nothing more than to revisit it again and confess everything.
She supposed she wanted to feel closer to Adam, even though she knew it was wrong and foolish.
Lord help her when Diana arrived.
“My father was part of the reason I left Yorkshire, but not all of it. Mostly I wanted a fresh start, for I discovered the hard way that a woman’s reputation is as fragile as glass and, once broken, not so easy to put back together.”
Adam gazed at her with interest. “What happened, Madeline? You weren’t…”
She quickly shook her head. “No, it never came to that, but it’s not what happens to a woman that matters as much as whatappearsto happen. When I was eighteen and visiting Stanley Hall to tutor Lord Jeffrey’s children, the local vicar followed me out into the garden and attempted to compromise me, for which I gave him a black eye.”
Adam’s face lit up at that. “Good for you, Madeline.”
“Well, I thought so, too, but my father, alas, did not. He paid the vicar a large sum to marry me, but I refused. The story got out, don’t ask me how, and the vicar blamedmefor seducing him. My reputation was ruined, and the vicar lost his position and insisted on keeping the money for compensation. Father never forgave me for not marrying the man. Before that, I always felt he tolerated me. I may never have believed that helovedme—not like he loved Diana—but afterward, I knew he out-and-out despised me.”
“He despisedyou!His youngest daughter! For defending herself against a lecher! I can only pray that if Penelope ever encounters a man like that detestable vicar, she will have your spunk and spirit, and give himtwoblack eyes.”
Madeline tried to smile, but the familiar shame and embarrassment that her father had pressed into her for years came upon her, despite her deep belief that none of it was her fault. She lowered her gaze to the floor.
To her surprise, Adam’s strong arms enveloped her and pulled her close into the warmth of his chest, where the shock of being held by him—the profound sense of release—took her breath away. She could feel the heat from his body, smell the outdoors on his clothes. She could even hear his heart within, beating against her ear. A quiver surged through her.
Then, the intensity of it all unleashed a flood of tears.
“Madeline,” Adam whispered, stroking her hair and rubbing her back. She tingled as he spoke her name. “It wasn’t your fault. Whatever torment or grief you endured these past years has not followed you here. You’re inmycare now, and I would defend your honor to the death if I had to. I only wish I had known you then. I would have been your champion.”
A rush of new feelings coursed through her: an unfamiliar, steadying sensation that came with the knowledge that someone was on her side. Someone believed her and sympathized with her. For the first time ever in her life, she felt valued and appreciated, as if she were part of something. Part of a family.
God! What kind of fool was she to think she could go on denying that she loved this man? Since she had arrived here and had her dreams crushed, she had convinced herself that he was not real. That whatever she believed him to be was born of her imagination and her illusions of him.
Now that she knew him, now that she had seen who he truly was inside, she knew all of it was true, and more. He was the most beautiful, incredible man she had ever known.
Suddenly, she trembled with grief. It was like someone had died, for she had to remind herself that he would never be hers.
At last she managed to grapple with her feelings and drew away from him. “I’m so sorry, Adam, I don’t know what came over me.”
“You have been wronged, Madeline, and no one has been there for you. You deserve a good cry.”
She tried to laugh, even though she felt as if her insides were being ripped out. “I suppose I do.”
She accepted the handkerchief he offered. Madeline wiped her eyes and blew her nose.
Adam reached to brush a few loose strands of hair away from her face. His touch was gentle and loving and filled her with agonizing longing. “You deserve a better life, Madeline. You have suffered a great injustice.”
Lowering her gaze again, she nodded. “That’s why I wanted to stay here in Nova Scotia, even after I found out you had wanted Diana, and not me.”
“I do want you, Madeline,” he said softly.
She trembled again. What did he mean by that?
