The meal passes in a pleasant blur, and before I know it, we’ve moved into the living room and Mama is clapping her hands together. “I think it’s time we showed Nate some of the old albums,” she declares, heading for the cabinet by the bookshelf.
My stomach drops. “Mama, no…”
“Oh, hush,” she waves me off, pulling out a thick leather-bound photo album. She plunks it down on the coffee table with a thud and opens it up to pictures of a chubby baby with messy black hair, a toddler in oversized glasses covered in paint, and my awkward middle school frown.
Nothing I ever wanted Nate to see.
“What?” Mama asks, when I groan in embarrassment, wrapping her arm around my shoulder from where she’s perched on the armrest. “You were adorable.”
“Still are,” Nate adds, unhelpfully.
“Nate,” I mutter, feeling warm everywhere. He’s seeing who I used to be, photos from before I transitioned, and he doesn’t even care, and I never knew how much that would mean to me.
“You were one cute baby. Giving me baby fever,” he jokes, making me smile, even though the thought of Nate wanting a child with me pulls at something in my heart.
Something I thought was an impossibility.
Maybe it’s not anymore.
Papa chuckles when we flip to a school picture, my face scrunched in obvious irritation, and when we turn the page again, I pause on a picture of Anika and me and point to show Nate.“That’s my sister.”
Papa’s expression softens. “She wanted to be here, but finals are ‘kicking her ass,’” he says, doing air quotes that make me giggle. And since when did my father cuss?
“She’ll be back for the summer,” Mama adds.
I realize Nate’s been quiet for a long time when he clears his throat. “Would it be alright if we took something home?”
We all turn to him. “What?”
“A couple of pictures,” he says, looking at Mama and Papa, and then me. “I’d like some baby pictures of you. And you could stand to hang a few up at your house, I mean, look at this one,” he jokes, holding up a particularly silly picture of toddler me, but I can’t laugh.
The air goes from my lungs completely. I know Nate is serious about me, the locket around my neck is proof enough—
The wordsmy future in-lawsrepeatover in my mind.
Mama smiles warmly, like she’s arrived at the same conclusion. “If it’s alright with Iris.”
I nod, taking his hand.
The night air is cool when we step out of the house, with Mama’s kiss still lingering on my cheek, and Nate’s promise that we’ll visit again soon echoing in my head.
He finishes loading the canvas into his red truck and waves at my parents from the driveway, and I can’t help but noticehow well he fits in here, like he belongs in every part of my life, even this one.
As we’re driving away, my heart still catching up from the whirlwind of the evening, my phone buzzes in my lap.
Gracie:Hi, Iris! It’s Gracie. Nate gave me your number. Liz and I were planning a girls day this weekend, mani/pedis, shopping, brunch. We’d love for you to join us!
I stare down at the text for far too long. Gracie didn’t have to invite me, but shedid. She and Liz are reaching out, including me, like I’m already part of the family.
Family.
I’ve never let myself want it, never let myself believe it’s something I could have. But here it is, right in front of me. My parents, waving at us from the porch, loving me for who I am. Nate’s family welcoming me with open arms.
Nate glances over. “What are you smiling at over there?”
I lock my phone, placing it face down on my thigh. When I look up at him, the glow from the dashboard paints his handsome features in blue. The love I feel right now must be too much for my chest.
“Nothing,” I say, shaking my head, but my smile spreads. “Just… I love you.”
