Chapter Three
“Thanks for goingwith me, Mia,” Natalie said to the driver of the old red truck currently traveling North on Highway 50 toward Apple Hill. Natalie’s tiny compact seemed insufficient for Christmas tree transportation, and she had no problems roping her best friend into this errand.
“I haven’t been to a Christmas tree farm since I was a kid. Do you think we’re going to be greeted with hot apple cider? I adore hot apple cider. Ross and I will have to come back and get our own tree later.” Mia was part nerd, part charmer and all heart and sunshine. Her golden-brown hair was in a neat ponytail and she sported her signature black-rimmed glasses while wearing a dark gray peacoat.
Natalie did her best to not roll her eyes at her friend’s enthusiasm. She loved Mia, she did. The biracial Latina woman was great in so many ways, but not everything warranted such a positive outlook. Some things were a chore, and it was okay to treat them as such. Picking out a Christmas tree was just one more errand, putting it on the same level as grocery shopping and finding a birthday gift for her abuelita.
She checked her phone’s navigation for the next direction before turning to her best friend again. “They’re not even open yet so don’t expect any hot apple cider. I’m only doing this because my uncle asked me to.”
“I’m happy to come along. Maybe I’ll find a new business that needs social media images. I’ve always been a ‘two birds, one stone’ type of lady. By the way, how is Enrique doing?” Mia had worked for a short time at Pony Expresso when she first returned to Placerville after years away. Of course, Enrique loved her because she’d been a model employee, and almost everyone liked her, even more cynical individuals like Natalie. Probably because Mia made Natalie’s work and life easier, not harder. Plus, she was charming. Everyone should have at least one charming person in their life, because good luck followed them.
“He’s fine. The same. Although, I’m currently mad at him for forcing me into this coffee truck thing by dangling a business partnership in front of my nose.”
“I don’t get that at all. You know more about his business than he does. You’re almost always there. You’ve been working at the coffee shop since forever. You’ve earned this. You shouldn’t have to prove anything else because you already have done so time and again.” And this was how she got the position of being Natalie’s best friend, because she was the most supportive person in the world. See? Charm.
“He said it was because of my supposedlybad gambling habit.” Natalie did lazy bunny air quotes with her fingers around the wordsbad gambling habit.
“Oh.”
Out of all the people in her life, Mia was the only one who knew the truth, because she wasn’t a blabbermouth and knew how to keep secrets. Most importantly, Mia wasn’t judgmental, unlike her uncle. If Tío Enrique thought gambling for a week was bad, then hereallywasn’t going to like what she actually did. There was no nice way to twist the truth so it was better to be blunt about it.
Natalie picked up guys.
Yes, she went to Tahoe for a week in December, and in April, for the exact purpose of picking up men to have a little no-strings-attached fun. She didn’t always sleep with them, and sometimes it was more hanging out and heavy make-out sessions, but she also wasn’t opposed to sex, if it felt safe and she was feeling it.
Natalie never made it a secret that she never planned to marry. Even if there were other men who shared the same frame of mind, it actually wasn’t the ring or the marriage certificate or even men themselves that were the problem. She didn’t want to be in a relationship. Period. She liked things to be easy, no hassle, nothing that couldn’t be forgotten when she was ready to move on. There wasn’t any point to go further than that.
Lake Tahoe had no shortage of guys who came from all over to have a boys’ trip or were participating in a bachelor party. As long as they weren’t in a relationship, Natalie didn’t care. She took all the precautions she could with protection and never exchanged last names or other personal details, as she never wanted to run into them or be found again. Hence, her rule of no local guys. She preferred the type of guy who was a little bit of an asshole. In fact, having asshole tendencies made everything easier. Plus, she was almost positive serial killers couldn’t be an asshole douche in public and also be successful at serial killing. Mia always insisted Natalie stay in constant contact in case there was ever a problem. Fortunately, besides bad sex, she hadn’t yet gotten into any trouble.
While her private life was no one’s business, she was also holding on to this dark secret, one she’d probably never be able to tell her family. While Enrique’s side was extremely buttoned up and traditional, the other side wasn’t much more open-minded about an independent, thirty-year-old Mexican-American woman doing what she wanted with her own body and not caring much about old traditions. And it was because of old traditions that she was leery about relationships and marriage in general.
When she was young, her mother would warn her daughters about the danger of falling for someone too quickly, using her own history as a cautionary tale. Rosa had married Miguel one week after meeting at a party, running away to elope at the state line against the wishes of all their family. As her mother told it, she saw Miguel and fell instantly in love with him. He had been the most handsome man she’d ever seen.
But everything that glitters isn’t gold.
“Appearances aren’t everything, mija. Don’t be like me,” she told Natalie time and time again. “Be smarter. Don’t let your emotions prevent you from seeing the truth.” And maybe they had been deeply in love or lust or whatever they wanted to call it. One thing was quite clear. It hadn’t lasted, and both claimed it was the other’s fault.
Regardless of the reason, the Gonzalez-Torres household only knew peace when her parents were not in the room together, preferring to bury themselves in their own interests on separate ends of the house. Interactions quickly unfolded into arguments or with them sniping at each other.
She once had a disagreement with her mother, when she felt Rosa was being especially unfair to Natalie’s father. In a moment of exasperation, she had shouted, “What’s the point of all this fighting, Mamá? Why did you just never leave?”
Her mother, equally frustrated, had responded, “You know why.”
Natalie did know. It was because she’d become pregnant with her soon after. Her mother could point to wanting to do the best thing for her children by sticking it out or say it wasn’t allowed due to her Catholic faith, but it didn’t matter. Her daughter was the first link in the chain holding her in place. Her mother’s love for her was part of the reason she had become stuck.
“Was it worth it?” Natalie had asked.
Rosa had only sighed before half-heartedly shrugging a hand in the air. “It is what it is.”
In the end, it didn’t matter. Even if her mother had replied it was all worth it, she might not have believed her anyway. Natalie knew the answer because it had almost happened to her.
She’d found herself nearly swept away in her own whirlwind relationship when she’d first started working for Enrique. She had foolishly let Stephen have sex with her without protection and considered eloping with him when he asked. She could have easily become sentimental over him. History would have repeated itself. But it hadn’t. She’d gotten lucky. Stephen had been incredibly disappointed in her, telling her she wasn’t the girl he thought she was; she wasn’t worthy of all his effort. She’d been more disappointed in herself for being so foolish in getting caught up in the haze of infatuation. They fell out of love so quickly, there was no way it could have been real at all.
Because of this, she’d learned Rosa’s lesson well. Don’t get stuck. No matter how charming someone was, it’s not worth it because it’ll never last. Her relationships with men became much more pragmatic, and she didn’t think she was truly missing anything. She didn’t need anything else from them. She was okay with how her life was. Why mess with a life that was fine as is?
Tahoe would always be there to give her exactly what she needed and to leave it at that.
Except this December.
