What am I even supposed to say?
We’re not a couple.That’s true.
I’m not lying.I’m just… not volunteering that I’ve had her in my bed two nights this week, and I’d do it again tonight if she asked.
I glance back down at the picture.
God, she looks beautiful.The kind of beautiful that makes my chest squeeze.Her eyes are bright, her cheeks flushed, and that impossibly wide smile that lights up the room shines right at me.She’s so damn smart.She belongs in medicine, not just because she has the skills, but because she has the drive.
And I enjoy letting her take the lead.Watching her process a diagnosis, give orders.I see her hesitate, wonder if I’ll step in, and then light up when I don’t.When I let her take the reins.
She’s easy to read when she thinks no one’s watching.And because I can’t help myself, I watch her all the time.
But now this photo changes everything.I hope it doesn't ruin my chances at chief.Because I don’t have a backup plan if I don’t get it.It’s all I’ve wanted, all I’ve worked toward.
I flip through to the event spread.Scarlet and Dusty are arm in arm.The ward team is all smiles.Then there’s Dr.Gould.
My jaw tightens without meaning to.
He’s standing next to Dr.Thomas, flashing that fake-as-hell politician smile like he runs the place.My hand curls into a fist against the paper.
Ass-kissing bastard.
Everyone thinks he’s a team player, but he clocks in, does the bare minimum, then disappears.He never stays late.Never goes the extra mile.He just coasts.
Meanwhile, I’ve got seven patients, including one hanging by a thread.I haven’t even left the hospital, even though my on-call ended an hour ago.
I take another sip of coffee.
Still fucking bitter.I check the creamer; it’s still in date.
“Yeah, not the creamer,” I mutter.“It’s just her.”
I head back up to the ICU to check in on the kid one last time.Good news, he’s now stabilized.Heart rate’s strong, blood pressure’s holding.
After I leave, he’s someone else’s responsibility.I won’t get an update until Monday.
Unless I call, which let’s be real, I will.I won’t be able to help myself.
I check my watch.Time for one more ward round and handover before I can call it a night.
By the time I make it home, the adrenaline has drained from my system.I throw on a pair of jeans, yank a T-shirt from the drawer, and run a hand through my hair in the bathroom mirror.
Five minutes later, I’m out the door, heading to my buddy’s place.
Carl’s place has changed since high school—the cracked leather sofa replaced by a fancy cream sofa, no foosball table in the corner, but he’s kept the same stocked fridge with too many beers and not enough real food.We've been friends since we were in school, but now we’re all working different shifts due to our jobs, so catching up is rare.But when we do, it’s like no time has passed.
Someone tosses a bag of chips on the coffee table as the game blares from the TV, the sound low enough for us to talk over.
“I got two extra tickets to next Friday’s game,” Carl says, holding up his phone.“Anyone free to watch it live?”
“Let me check,” I say, already pulling out my calendar.I scroll through my schedule.“I’m off.I’ll take one.But,” I add, glancing up, “if I get Chief, that could change.”
“Oooh, look out… Chief coming in hot!”Jackson, who’s one of the local firefighters, shouts.
“Better get used to calling himChief!”Nate adds.
I roll my eyes and lean back on the couch.“Shut up, you jerks.”
