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a union—
equal to the set of
U and me.
Wednesday, December 10, French
You know what else I just realized? That if this thing works—you know, if I do manage to get Michael away from Judith Gershner, and I break up with Kenny, and I end up, you know, in a potentially romantic situation with Lilly’s brother—I will not know what to do.
Seriously.
Take kissing, for instance. I have only ever kissed one person before, and that’s Kenny. I cannot believe that what Kenny and I did really encompassed the whole of the kissing experience, because it certainly wasn’t as fun as people always make it look on TV.
This is a very disturbing thought, and has led me to an equally disturbing conclusion: I know very little about kissing.
In fact, it seems to me that if I am going to be doing any kissing with anybody, I should get some advice beforehand. From a kissing expert, I mean.
Which is why I am consulting Tina Hakim Baba. She may not be allowed to wear makeup to school, but she has been kissing Dave Farouq El-Abar—who goes to Trinity—for close to three months now, and liking it, so I consider her an expert on the subject.
I am enclosing the results of this highly scientific document for future reference.
Tina—
I need to know about kissing. Can you please answer each of the following questions IN DETAIL????
And DO NOT show this to anyone!!!! DO NOT lose this paper!!!! —Mia
1. Can a boy tell if the person he is with is inexperienced? How does an inexperienced kisser kiss (so I can avoid that)?
The guy may sense a feeling of nervousness coming from you, or that you are uneasy, but everyone is nervous when they are kissing someone new. It’s natural! But kissing is easy to catch on to—believe me! An inexperienced kisser might break away too soon because he or she is scared or whatever. But that is normal. It’s SUPPOSED to be weird. That’s what makes it fun.
2. Is there such a thing as a great kiss
er? If so, what are the qualifications? (So I know what to practice.)
Yes, there is such a thing as a great kisser. A great kisser is always affectionate and gentle and patient and not demanding.
3. How much pressure do you exert on his lips? I mean, do you push, or like in a handshake, are you just supposed to be firm? Or are you just supposed to stand there and let him do all the work?
If you want a gentle kiss (a caring one) don’t apply too much pressure (this is also true if he is wearing braces—you don’t want to cause any lacerations). If you give a guy a “harsh” kiss (too much pressure), he might think you are desperate or that you want to go further than you probably do.
Of course you aren’t supposed to just stand there and let him do all the work: kiss him back! But always kiss him the way YOU want to be kissed. That is how guys learn. If we didn’t show them how to do everything, we’d never get anywhere!
4. How do you know when it’s time to stop?
Stop when he stops, or when you feel like you’ve had enough, or don’t want to go any further. Just gently (so you don’t freak him out) move your head back, or if the moment is right, you can change the kiss into a hug, then step back.
5. If you are in love with him, is it still gross?
Of course not! Kissing is never gross!
Well, okay, I guess I could see that maybe with Kenny, it might be. It is always better with someone you actually like.
Of course, even with someone you really like, sometimes kissing can be gross. Once Dave licked me on the chin, and I was all, Get away. But I think that was by accident (the licking).
6. If he is in love with you, does he even care if you are bad? (Define bad kisser. See above.)
If the guy likes/loves you, he won’t care if you are a good kisser or not. In fact, even if you are a bad kisser, he will probably think you are a good one. And vice versa. He should like you for what you are—not how you kiss.
