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Make a FORT out of pillows on my bed and put Fat Louie inside of it and then stick your hand into any openings between the pillows (I recommend wearing an oven mitt during this game).
Put some catnip in an OLD SOCK and throw it to Fat Louie. Then leave him alone for four to five hours, because catnip makes him a little free with his claws.
THE LITTER BOX
Mr. Gianini, this one is for you. Mom must not clean out the litter box or touch anything that may have come in contact with it, or she might develop toxoplasmosis, and the baby might get sick. Always wash your hands in warm, soapy water after changing Fat Louie’s litter box, even if you don’t think you got anything on your hands.
Fat Louie’s box needs to be scooped out EVERY DAY. Always use clumping litter, and then just scoop out the clumps into a Grand Union bag and dispose. Nothing could be simpler. He tends to do number 2 about two hours after his evening meal. You will be able to tell from the odor wafting from his box in my bathroom.
MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL
Remember not to disturb Fat Louie’s SPECIAL AREA BEHIND THE TOILET in my bathroom. That is where he keeps his collection of shiny objects. If he takes something of yours and you find it there, be sure not to take it out while he is looking, or for weeks he will try to bite you every time he sees you. I talked to the vet about it, but she said short of hiring an animal behaviorist at $70/hr there is nothing that can be done. We just have to put up with it.
ABOVE ALL, BE SURE TO PICK FAT LOUIE UP SEVERAL TIMES A DAY AND HUG AND SQUEEZE HIM!!!!! (HE LIKES THIS.)
Saturday, December 13, Midnight, the loft
I can’t believe it’s midnight already, and I am still only on Chapter One of An Introduction to Algebra!
This book is incomprehensible. I sincerely hope whoever wrote it did not make very much money off of it.
I should just go and ask Mr. G what’s going to be on the final.
No, that would be cheating.
Wouldn’t it?
Sunday, December 14, 10 a.m., the loft
Only forty-eight hours until the Algebra final, and I am still on Chapter One.
Sunday, December 14, 10:30 a.m., the
loft
Lilly just came over again. She wants to study for World Civ together. I told her I can’t worry about World Civ when I am only on Chapter One in my Algebra review, but she said we could alternate: She would quiz me on Algebra for an hour, then I could quiz her on World Civ for an hour. I said okay, even though it really isn’t fair: She is getting an A in Algebra, so her quizzing me isn’t really helping her any, while my quizzing her in World Civ helps me study for it, too.
But that’s what friends are for, I guess.
Sunday, December 14, 11 a.m., the loft
Tina just called. Her little brother and sisters are driving her crazy. She wanted to know if she could come down and study here. I said sure.
What else could I say? Besides, she promised to stop at H and H for bagels and vegetable cream cheese. And she said she thought the photos of me in the supplement were beautiful and that I shouldn’t care if people call me a sellout, because I look so hot.
Sunday, December 14, Noon, the loft
Michael told Boris where Lilly is, so now Boris is here, too.
Lilly’s right. Boris really does breathe too loudly. It’s very distracting.
And I wish he wouldn’t put his feet on my bed. The least he could do is take his shoes off first. But when I suggested it, Lilly said that would be a bad idea.
Ew. I don’t know why Lilly puts up with a boyfriend who is not only a mouth breather but also has stinky feet.
Boris may be a musical genius, but he has a lot to learn about hygiene, if you ask me.
Sunday, December 14, 12:30 p.m., the loft
