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I blinked. I could barely see him through my tears. “W–what?”
“You know.” He looked around, then dropped his voice to a whisper. “Boris. Leaving you all those roses. I mean, come on, Mia. If you two want to carry on behind Lilly’s back, that’s one thing, but—”
The roaring in my ears that had been there just after I’d read Michael’s poem came back. BORIS. BORIS PELKOWSKI. My boyfriend just broke up with me because he thinks I am having an affair with BORIS PELKOWSKI.
BORIS PELKOWSKI, who always has food in his braces.
BORIS PELKOWSKI, who wears his sweaters tucked inside his pants.
BORIS PELKOWSKI, my best friend’s boyfriend.
Oh, God. My life is so over.
I tried to tell him. You know, the truth. That Boris isn’t my secret love, but my Secret Snowflake.
But Tina darted forward, grabbed me by the arm, and went, “Sorry, Kenny, Mia has to go now.” Then she dragged me into the girls’ room.
“I have to tell him,” I kept saying, over and over, like a crazy person, as I tried to break free of her grip. “I have to tell him. I have to tell him the truth.”
“No, you do not,” Tina said, pushing me past the toilet stalls. “You two are broken up. Who cares why? You’re through, and that’s all that matters.”
I blinked at my tear-stained reflection in the mirror above the sinks. I looked awful. Never in your life have you seen anyone who looked less like a princess than I did just then. Just looking at myself made me break out into a fresh new wave of tears.
Of course Tina says she’s sure Michael wasn’t trying to make fun of me. Of course she says that he must have figured out that I was the one who was sending him those cards and was trying to let me know that he felt the same way about me.
Only of course I can’t believe that. Because if that were true—if that were true—why did he let me go? Why didn’t he try to stop me?
Tina has pointed out that he did try. But my shrieking when I read his poem, and then running in tears from the room, might not have seemed to him like a very encouraging sign. In fact, it might have actually looked to him like I was displeased by what I’d seen. Furthermore, Tina pointed out, even if Michael had tried to go after me, there’d been Kenny cornering me on my way out. It had certainly looked as if the two of us were Having A Moment—which we most certainly were—and didn’t wish to be disturbed.
All of which could be true.
But it could also be true that Michael had just been joking. It was a very mean joke, under the circumstances, but Michael doesn’t know that I adore him with every fiber of my being. Michael doesn’t know that I’ve been in love with him all my life. Michael doesn’t know that without him, I will never, ever achieve self-actualization. I mean, to Michael, I’m just his kid sister’s best friend. He probably didn’t mean to be cruel. He probably thought he was being funny.
It isn’t his fault that my life is over, and that I am never, ever leaving this bathroom.
I’ll just wait until everybody is gone, and then I’ll sneak out, and no one will see me again until next semester starts, by which time, hopefully, all of this will have blown over.
Or, better yet, maybe I’ll just stay in Genovia. . . .
Hey, yeah. Why not?
Friday, December 19, 5 p.m., the loft
I don’t know why people can’t just leave me alone.
Seriously. I may be done with finals, but I still have a lot to do. I mean, I have to pack, don’t I? Don’t people know that when you are leaving for your royal introduction to the people over whom you will one day reign, you have to do a lot of packing?
But no. No, people keep on calling, and e-mailing, and coming over.
Well, I’m not talking to anybody. I think I have made that perfectly clear. I am not speaking to Lilly or Tina or my dad or Mr. Gianini or my mother and ESPECIALLY not Michael, even though at last count, he’d called four times.
I am way too busy to talk to anybody.
And with my headphones on, I can’t even hear them pounding on the door. It’s kind of nice, I have to say.
Friday, December 19, 5:30 p.m., the fire escape
People have a right to their privacy. If I want to go into my room and lock the door and not come out or have to deal with anyone, I should have a right to. People should not be allowed to take the hinges off of my door and remove it. That is completely unfair.
