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I just wish he wasn’t.
Also that I was dead.
I just went and got some bacon to put on my cheeseburger.
Friday, September 10, G & T
I almost skipped this class. Partly because I felt really sick after the burger. I definitely shouldn’t have added the bacon.
But also partly because I didn’t want to see Lilly again. Especially without J.P. to rein her in.
But I didn’t skip because I figured I’d just get in trouble. And a trip to Principal Gupta’s office is the last thing I need.
Also, I got some Tums from the nurse, and that seemed to help.
I was glad I didn’t skip when I walked into class. Glad, because the first thing I saw when I walked in was Lilly, WEEPING.
I wasn’t glad she was crying. I was glad because she so obviously needed me. I mean, something had Happened. Something BIG.
Boris was standing there next to her, looking alarmed. I think it’s only natural that I assumed Lilly was crying because of something Boris said to her, since he flung me this totally panicky look when I walked in.
“What did you do to her?” I asked him, shocked. Because Boris can be a jerk sometimes. But he honestly doesn’t MEAN to be. And he’s gotten a lot less jerky since Tina started going out with him.
“She was like this when I came in,” Boris insisted. “It wasn’t me!”
“Lilly.” I couldn’t imagine what could be the matter with her. Surely it couldn’t have anything to do with me and Michael. That would never make Lilly cry. Hardly anything made Lilly cry. Except…I gasped. “Did Lana Weinberger decide to run for student council president after all?”
“No!” Lilly said scornfully, between sobs. “God! Do you think I’d be crying over something like that?”
“Well.” I stared down at her blankly. “What is it, then?”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” Lilly said.
But I noticed her gaze slide toward Boris. What’s more important, Boris noticed it, too.
And so—exercising a little of the tact Tina has so carefully taught him—Boris said, “I guess I’ll just go start practicing now,” and went and let himself into the supply closet.
I said, “Okay, he’s gone. Now tell me.”
Lilly took a deep, shuddering breath. Then, glancing around at everyone else in the room—all of whom immediately ducked their heads, pretending to be engrossed in their individual projects, something that NEVER happens unless Mrs. Hill is in the room, which she most decidedly was not just then—Lilly whispered, “J.P. just broke up with me.”
I stared at her in complete and utter astonishment. “What?”
“You heard me.” Lilly reached up and wiped her eyes with the back of her wrist, leaving a long black mascara stain on each side of her face. “He dumped me.”
I pulled out the chair next to Lilly’s just in time to collapse into it and not onto the floor.
“You’re joking,” I said. Because it was the only thing I could think of to say.
But it was painfully clear by the way tears continued to stream from her eyes that she wasn’t joking.
“But why?” I asked. “When?”
“Just now,” Lilly said. “Outside on the front steps, next to Joe.” Joe is the stone lion that flanks the stairs leading to the front doors of Albert Einstein High. “He said he felt really bad, but that he doesn’t feel the same way about me that I do about him. He said he values me as a friend, but that he’s never lo-loved me!”
I couldn’t stop staring at her. Somehow, this was way more horrible than what Michael had done to me. I mean, Michael had had sex with Judith Gershner and lied to me about it, and all.
But he had never said he didn’t love me.
