“No,”I replied flatly.“He was a year older than me, and he wasn’t from Henderson. He’d come to town to stay with family for a couple of weeks, and we met at a party. We were both drinking, and wejuststarted talking. There was a bit of a spark between us, and before Ireallyknew what was happening, we were locked in a bedroom, taking our clothes off.”
I paused, the memories ofthatnight playing in my head like a movie. I didn’t have any grand ideas of losing my virginity to someone I loved, but I didn’t think I would lose it at a party where I’d been drinking underage, while my friends were downstairs dancing with girls.
“There was no conversation between us about roles,”I continued.“One minute I was on my knees blowing him, the next minute, I was on the bed on all fours with him behind me. We didn’t have any lube, and he wasn’t gentle when he first entered me. I think if it wasn’t for the alcohol, I probably would have cried.”I grimaced at realizing Ben’s face had contorted into a snarl.“Sorry.Thatwas too much detail, I shouldn’t have said allthat.”
“No, I want to know. It makes meevenmore grateful for how you were with me.”A shy smile replaced the scowl.“What happened after?”
“It was over in a few minutes, and when he disappeared into the bathroom to dispose of the condom, I ended up finishing myself off. Andthatwas it. I got dressed and left the room before heevencame out of the bathroom, and I never saw him again afterthat.”
“Didn’tthatput you off trying with someone else?”
I shrugged.“No. One bad experience doesn’t meanthatevery experiencethatfollows will be bad. In fact, my most recent experiences have been pretty damn good.”
A triumphant grin lit up his face as he puffed up his chest, butjustas he was about to reply, the waitress appeared with our food, cutting off any further conversation.
“You want me to go ice skating?”Ben said, skepticism written on his face.
He glared at the ice rink like it was a field full of barbed wire as opposed to a place where kids and adults were whizzing around, laughing at each other’s attempts to stay upright.
“Yes. Come on, it’ll be fun.”Without thinking, I laced my fingers through his, tugging his hand as I led him to the kiosk to get our skates.
To my surprise, he didn’t release my hand, and the hopethatwas already blooming in my chest grew a little more.
Henderson’s Winter Wonderland was one of my favorite places this time of year. The enormous park in the middle of town was transformed into our own little slice of the North Pole with an ice rink, Santa’s Grotto, an ice sculpture exhibit, and best of all, a fairground.
When we’d first arrived after finishing our burgers, Ben looked as though he wanted to run a mile, and when we stepped out of the car to the cheery Christmas music, I thought he was going to demand I take him home.
But he didn’t.
“I’m not sure about this, Bug,”Ben said, hesitantly standing after changing his shoes.
I grinned at his attempt to balance on his blades.“You’ll be fine. We’ll go slow and stay near to the sides.”
He muttered something under his breath as I stood, balancing with ease. I was by no means a pro on the ice, but I’d been coming to the rink every year for as long as I could remember, plus, I’d visited the rink several times in Beckford, the next town over.
Following me to the ice, Ben wobbled on his blades. I stepped onto the rink, holding out my hand for him to take. He grabbed on, squeezing my hand in a vice-like grip as his blades met the ice, and I had to stifle my laugh at the look of pure horror on his face.
Kids whizzed by us as he fought to find his balance, his other hand whipping out to grip the side.“Bend your knees slightly; it helps with your center of gravity,”I instructed, remembering the lessons my dad gave me the first time he took me skating.“And lean forward a little.”
A crease formed between his brows as he concentrated on my instructions.“Like this?”
“Yeah, that’s good,”I replied, hoping to encourage him.“Now, we’re gonna glide, so push off with one foot,thenswitch to the other.”
Standing on one side of him and holding his hand, I slid my feet, leading him forward. Ben kept his gaze fixed on his feet, but as he copied my movement while still gripping the side with his other hand, he stumbled.
“That’s nearly it, but don’t lift your feet. Imagine they are stuck to the ice, and the only movement you can make is to glide.”This time when we moved, his feet stayed on the ice.“That’s it! Well done, baby.”
He beamed at me, a beautiful smilethatwarmed me to my bones. Pride coursed through me at being the one who got to see how damn gorgeous he was when he smiled likethat.
For the next half hour, we made our way around the rink a few times, Ben’s confidence slowly growing. He grinned the entire time, and when we started our fourth loop around, he let go of the side, but his other hand remained firmly clasped in mine.
“You’re doing so well, Ben,”I said, grinning back at him proudly.“It took me a lot longer to get the hang of it. You’re a natural.”
His eyes twinkled under my praise.“Nah, I reckon it’s ‘cos I’ve got a good teacher.”
I couldn’t help but hear the double meaning in his comment, and for several seconds, the two of us grinned at each other, and God, did I want to kiss him. He was the first to look away, clearing his throat as we continued skating.
“Hey, there’s a rink over at Beckford. We could go there sometime,”I said, wondering if we could make this a regular occurrence.
