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As much as I adore Michael and think he’s the type who can weather any storm, I don’t know how much more he can take.
I don’t know how much more I can take either.
After I texted Michael, I texted his sister:
HRH Mia Thermopolis “FtLouie”>
What are you doing?
What am I always doing lately? Memorizing the black letter rules. Thanks for having your wedding a week before New York State holds its bar exam in July, by the way. That is not at all inconvenient for me, nor is it freaking me out in any way.
Sorry, it wasn’t my decision. So, has anyone told you the one about the princess who turns out to have a long-lost sister living in New Jersey?
I am coming over RIGHT NOW.
You can’t.
I sent her the photo I’d texted Michael.
Why is there a dentist from Scottsdale, Arizona, sleeping on your couch?
He shaved. He’s upset that I found out about that thing I mentioned, and is basically having a midlife crisis.
Give me the 411 about that thing you mentioned and I’ll LexisNexis her.
English, please.
God, you are such a princess. It’s the database we use to access legal and business documents online. I just need her name and city of birth.
A “dossier” on her was already prepared by the RGG.
And I’m sure Grandma’s dossier was very thorough. Now it’s time to let Big Lilly take charge.
Lilly, the RGG is a military organization that has been in existence since the 1200s.
Oh, yeah, and they’ve done a great job catching your stalker.
Fine. Olivia Grace Clarisse Mignonette Harrison, Cranbrook, NJ.
Delete this message.
Done. One moment please while I research. Here is some soothing music for while you wait. “A Million Stars” by Boris P.
Not funny.
Quiet please, processing.
You know Tina is still in love with him.
HA! She would be.
She doesn’t have a heart made of stone like you do.
THERMOPOLIS!! YOU WERE SERIOUS!!! YOU HAVE A $!$T5R!
Yes, I know, I just told you that.
Well, what are you going to do about it?
