Velvet
Let me re-phrase my question: Do you want your dick sucked tonight?
Nash
Why you gotta kill me, V?
Velvet
This is me loving you, Nash. I’m cooking you dinner AND sucking your dick.
Nash
Fuck. Send the list.
Velvet
Here’s what I need from the supermarket: butter, milk, diced beef, potatoes, broccoli, garlic, carrots, pumpkin, onions, rice, Vegemite, peanut butter, eggs, cheese, makeup pads, shower gel (the one we always get, do NOT come home with any other brand, let me know if you can’t remember which one it is and I’ll send you a photo, I repeat do NOT come home with a different brand), tampons (the ones you always get me x 10 boxes), and pads (the ones you’ve bought me before x 10 packs).
Nash
Fuck me, why so many tampons and pads?
Velvet
I’m donating some to Share The Dignity.
Nash
The what?
Velvet
It’s a charity that does a period product drive to help women who are doing it tough. Maybe we should get more than 10 of each.
Nash
Fuckin’ hell, I’m on my bike. Can these wait until tomorrow? You’ve ordered a shitload of other shit for me to grab. I’ll already be loaded up with my own stuff. And fuck knows you’ll have my balls if those eggs don’t make it home in one piece.
Velvet
No, I have to donate these tomorrow and won’t have time in the morning to go buy them. I think we should buy more than 10 of each. Maybe 20 of each.
Nash
This dick sucking you’re doing tonight…. am I getting a show with it?
Velvet
Nash, I’m trying to decide how many tampons and pads you should buy. Can we just focus on that first?
Nash
I am fuckin’ focusing on that. I’m figuring at the rate you’re going, I’ll have to come home and swap my bike for the car before hitting the supermarket.
Velvet
Oh, good idea. But what’s that got to do with your blowjob?
