He took in a deep breath. “I think we have a natural connection. But don’t you think if I knew you were my mate, I would’ve told you months ago? That’s not something a shifter can easily deny. What reason would I have to hold back my true feelings?”
Disappointment flowed through my veins. I didn’t think he was lying. Why would he? Ethan spoke the truth. There was no mating bond between us.
...Yet I wasn’t entirely convinced. There wassomekind of bond there, though I didn’t know what it was. Attraction, at the very least. We had some chemistry. Maybe Ethan and I could be mates, just that our connection was weaker than the one shared between the Phantom and I?
But that wasn’t enough for a lifetime of commitment. I balled my hands into fists at my sides.
“I don’t want to be Queen of the Arcanea.”
“Forgive me, but I don’t think it matters what you want,” Ethan said gently. “My life is about service. I’m here to give myself up to the people of Malovia. That’s my purpose. It’s about sacrifice. I don’twantto ask you to become queen in order to protect the Arcanea. But Emma, I’m asking.”
“You’re asking me to give up my life.”
“Yes. Because it’s what has to be done. People are depending on us.”
He was right. The right thing to do was clear. The main contenders to the throne were Ethan and Elijah. If Ethan didn’t have a mate, he couldn’t compete. And then Elijah would probably win.
The thought of Elijah on the throne with Gabby’s smug, bitchy smile beside him made me want to hurl. Neither one of them cared about the Arcanea. They only cared about themselves. They’d run the county into the ground and ruin the Arcanea for their own selfish purposes.
Ethan wasn’t like that. He was good, and just, and kind. He was the king the Arcanea needed.
But he needed me. And if I refused… there’d be no one else to turn to. He’d waited too long to find a mate. I had to wonder if it was on purpose. Sure, he was a prince and could pick any random girl, but whoever he picked had to stay at his side… forever. There was no such thing as divorce among the Arcanea. That kind of thing was forbidden in our culture. You’d be shunned forever if you took wedding vows and then decided to abandon your mate. If you had to refuse them, it was supposed to be donebeforeyou legally wed. Ethan would be removed from the throne if he ever broke his mating vows.
We were friends. He knew he could deal with me for the rest of his life. With any other girl, he’d be taking a chance.
I mean, I had to admit, the thought of being queen was kinda badass. I’d be taken care of for the rest of my life. And I’d get to order people around. The only person above me on the Arcanea pecking order would be Ethan. I wouldn’t be an outcast anymore. People would be forced to respect me. It would be good to be the queen.
Yet it came with a lot of duties. I’d be responsible for an entire nation of people. Wars, famines, disasters… I’d be expected to handle it all. It was a lot to ask of a girl from Detroit.
Ethan thought I could handle it, which was endearing. Maybe I could. He wouldn’t ask me to be his queen if he thought I’d be a bad one. He cared about his people too much.
But if I said yes… I’d lose the chance to be with my one true mate forever. I’d lose the Phantom.
With a sinking feeling, I realized I had to face facts. The Phantom wasn’t coming for me. I’d waited for weeks and weeks, and he never showed. I didn’t think he cared about me at all.
I loved the Phantom, but he wasn’t here. Ethan was. Ethan was standing right in front of me, begging me to take his hand and become his queen.
It would be an arranged marriage. Probably a loveless one. I don’t think I could love another person like I loved the Phantom. It just wasn’t possible. He’d taken up a place in my heart that I could never let go.
I was facing the same decision my mom had long ago. But what if my mom had made a mistake? Her choice to follow her heart had brought her nothing but misery. I didn’t want to end up like that.
“Why did you pick me? Give me one good reason,” I said.
“Because we’re friends. Because we get along. Because we work well together. It’s a smart decision,” Ethan listed off.
Parts of me seethed. He could’ve said I was pretty. Maybe even lied that he had a crush on me, at least. Would it kill him to fake a little bit of romance? Not set this up like it was a business transaction.
“So you think you can put up with me for the rest of your life. Big deal. That’s really profound,” I shot at him.
“Emma, not everything in life is a fairytale romance,” Ethan snapped. “I know you want flowers and feelings and to be swept off your feet, but this is a practical arrangement. It’s what’s best.”
“For you, maybe.” This was insulting. I had feelings for Ethan, but it was clear he had none for me. Which really fucking hurt.
“Em, I want more than just the magic.” Ethan’s expression hardened. “This is a vow to stick with me through thick and thin, a commitment you can never take back. If you don’t think you can do that, walk away.”
“I don’t even have time to think about it! The King’s Contest istwo weeksaway!” I shouted. “You haven’t even given me time to consider.”
“I wasn’t sure of it myself until recently. I’m sorry I didn’t give you enough time, but Emma, I need your answer now. There’s not enough time to give it any thought.”
