“That’s your own fault, Captain Procrastinator.”
Ethan huffed impatiently. He held the bridge between his nose and his eyes with two fingers. “Dammit, you’re so frustrating.”
“This is your own fault for springing a marriage proposal on me at the last minute.”
“What’s holding you back?” He dropped his hand, and our eyes connected. “Tell me.”
What was holding me back? A million things. I was eighteen years old, and Ethan wanted me to make a lifelong commitment to him when I barely knew him. I was mated to the Phantom. I didn’t know if I’d be a good queen. Hell, I didn’t even know if I could help Ethan win the Contest.
But beneath all of that was fear, and it was the real reason I didn’t want to say yes. I was afraid Ethan would always love his people more than he’d love me. If he ever learned to love me at all. I’d be giving up my soulmate for a loveless marriage.
But that wasn’t important. We were talking about the welfare of thousands of people, here. If I was queen, I could make things different for people like my mom.
And it would be a hell of a lot easier to get revenge on those Black Claw bastards for killing my dad. I’d have unlimited power. Power that would come in handy, that I could use.
I cocked out a hip and said, “Convince me.”
“What?” His eyebrow raised.
“Convince me to be your mate!” My arms floundered. “Prove that you deserve me. Or at least want me.”
“I mean... I’m a prince. There are benefits to marrying me,” Ethan stammered.
It was like no one had ever asked him to prove himself before. Did he just expect women to fall at his feet?
“I couldn’t give a damn you’re a prince. I was never impressed by guys with money,” I said. “What are you bringing to the table? You need me. It’s not the other way around. Prove you want me.”
Ethan looked completely lost. Prince or not, men were still men, and they were clueless creatures. “I don’t get what you mean.”
“Gods, Ethan!” I threw my hands up. “You’re about as romantic as a stick up the ass!”
“I take offense to that.” His eyes narrowed.
“You haven’t done anything to show me otherwise.”
He paused for a moment before he said, “I… thought it was obvious I wanted you.”
Heat flooded through me and settled right in my panties. Holy hell, he actually said something that turned me on and made me feel like I was more than an easy option. Was he admitting that he actually liked me? Or that he thought I’d be fun in bed?
Did heloveme?
Maybe my friends were right again, and there was more between Ethan and I than I wanted to admit.
This idea actually had some merit. But I was about to blow it out of the water with my next statement. “Ethan, before you decide to make me your queen, there’s something you should know.”
“What is it?” He tilted his head. “I know you said before you never dated anyone, but if you’ve slept with other people casually, I don’t care. You didn’t grow up in this world. You couldn’t have been expected to abide by our laws.”
“What? No.” I cringed. “I haven’t slept with anybody.”
Ethan’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “Oh.”
“Don’t act so freaking shocked,” I spat at him.
He scratched his head. “Well… you’re a beautiful woman, Emma. So excuse me for not expecting you to be a virgin.”
Well, that was a nice and unexpected compliment. I felt another jolt between my thighs before I shook my head and said, “Anyway… it’s something else.”
I took a deep breath. “My disease prevents me from giving you any heirs,” I said. “People with CVID have children all the time, but it’s high-risk. A pregnancy could kill me, but I refuse to carry children, anyway. I won’t risk passing down this disease to my kids or my grandkids. It’s just not happening. If you marry me, you have to know that I won’t be bear you any children. It’s not something I’m willing to negotiate on.”
