Marcus sighed. “There are ceremonies for this kind of thing in the Miriamic Coven. We believe that shoving our emotions down will only make them fester. You have to face them and release what’s holding you back.”
“You’ve done one of these ceremonies?” I asked. I was getting a little irritated with him, because if anyone needed to face their past, it was Marcus. It wasn’t his fault that his magic killed all those people, and he still blamed himself.
“Not yet,” he admitted. “I’ll get there. I’m just saying… if you want some help with this, I’m here for you.”
“Oh,” I said flatly. I suddenly felt bad for getting angry at him. He was only trying to help, and maybe I needed it.
“The best time to perform these ceremonies is on the full moon,” Marcus said.
“That’s this week,” I remarked.
“Yeah, but we don’t have to do it right away,” he assured me. “Whenever you’re ready.”
I pondered his offer for a moment. “I don’t know if I ever will be, but maybe I can try.”
“Really?” Marcus asked, sounding shocked.
“It’s not like I have anything better to do,” I chuckled, but it came out stilted. I wasn’t totally sure I was ready, but I knew if I put this off, it would never happen. “But only if you make me a deal.”
“What kind of deal?” Marcus sounded skeptical.
“That you work through your shit, too.”
“Charlie, I’m not ready—”
“You don’t have to do this ceremony now,” I told him. “Just… promise me you’ll start figuring it out. If your people truly believe in exploring your emotions, then you’ve got to stop hiding them from yourself.”
“I don’t know how long it will take, but I can try,” Marcus said.
I offered a light smile. “Then I guess we’ll need to prepare for the full moon.”
* * *
I twisted the threads of Ava’s armband around in my fingers as I snuck toward the chapel later that week after my factory shift. Oberi led the way. The band had been a gift from Ava, one that I’d stashed away behind a drawer in my dresser when we’d broken up, because I couldn’t bear to let it go. It was the first, and only, birthday present I’d ever gotten.
Marcus had said I would need something special to me for this ritual— something that represented what I’d been holding on to. I didn’t have much of anything that wasspecial. Hell, I’d lived most of my life out of garbage bags. But this? The armband was the most important thing I owned.
The halls were quiet, as it was almost curfew. Now that I was out of fight club, I didn’t get special privileges to be out of bed after hours, but I’d arranged a pile of clothes under my blanket to make it look like I was sleeping. The guards never checked our cells that closely unless they had a reason, and I hadn’t attracted any attention lately.
We chose the chapel because it was one of the most secluded areas on campus. The guards never patrolled this hall, since most students never bothered to come down here. The people in this place weren’t exactly the religious type.
I slipped into the chapel and shut the door behind me. I could hear Marcus near the pulpit making clinking noises, though I didn’t know what he was up to. Rishi meowed lightly, and Oberi panted as he guided me up the aisle.
“Are we ready?” I asked as I approached.
“I’m ready if you are,” Marcus said. “The skies are clear tonight, and the moon is bright. It’s the perfect night for this ceremony. You can sit.”
I sat cross-legged across from him in front of the pews. Oberi lay next to me. The vast, expansive room made me a bit uneasy, but I knew we were alone. I shifted, though I couldn’t find a comfortable position. “How does this work?”
“Did you bring something?” he asked.
I lifted the armband, and Marcus hesitated. “Ava gave that to you, didn’t she?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I replied sheepishly. “I guess I have more to let go of than I thought, huh? Will this work?”
“It’s perfect. I just… didn’t think you’d want to destroy that.”
My eyebrows shot up. “You didn’t say anything about destroying it.”
