My voice was cold as I said, “The Warden.”
Charlie was far from surprised. “You want to kill him more than the rest of us.”
“Absolutely.” My teeth gritted as I thought about how much I hated him. “I dream about it all the time— how amazing it would be to finally kill him. When you’re making love to me, I laugh, because even though it’s wonderful,nothingon this earth would make me feel as good as you do, other than taking the Warden’s life. Murdering him would be ecstasy. I’ve got a few pages with ideas, theories on how we could take him out, ways we could put him in the ground.”
I sighed. “I don’t think any of them would work, especially now that we know he’s invulnerable to almost anything, but I’ll come up with how to kill him someday. And it’s fun, because even though it’s not realistic, picturing fantasies of how I can make him suffer gives me satisfaction. It delights me.”
“It’s one thing to keep it in your head, but why put it on paper?” Charlie asked.
“I have this kill list because I want to end people who hurt us, before they hurt anyone else. And I need to remind myself that even though we live in paradise here, I can’t forget that I need to make certain people pay.”
“The Warden’s horrible, but it’s not your responsibility to get rid of him, pidge. At least, not your responsibility alone. We can do it together.”
I said nothing. Charlie asked, “Is that all who’s on the kill list?”
I paused. “There’s a name on the list you might not like.”
“Who?”
“Your dad. Cameron Wahkin.”
Charlie’s brow furrowed. “Why is my dad on the list? I don’t forgive him for what happened, but killing him is a little extreme.”
I turned on my back, sighed and looked up at the ceiling. “He acts like you should forget about your childhood. Even if leaving you behind was out of his hands, it’s okay for you to be upset that it happened. I don’t like that he believes you can just move on and forgive him. Especially when he doesn’t want to put any work in to fix it.”
“You can’t kill my dad, pidge.”
“I wasn’t going to. I wouldn’t hurt you like that,” I said softly. “But he makes me feel that way, so he’s on the list.”
I scoffed. “He might be the only person who makes it off of it.”
Charlie lifted me into a sitting position on his lap. “Whatever is going on with you, I’m here for you. You’re never going to suffer through it alone.”
“I know.” I put my forehead to his and happily breathed him in. “No matter what I’m going through, I’ll always have you.”
I was vaguely aware of a soft knock, and a small voice that asked, “Princess?”
The door creaked open. I heard a soft, strangled gasp. I looked up and saw that Abigail’s face had gone pale as her eyes locked on the ropes around my wrists. She gave a terrified glance to Charlie, spun her wheelchair around, then hurried out of there.
Ooh. I’d forgotten Abigail was coming by today to escort me to my bridal fitting. She’d come in at a pretty bad time.
“What was that?” Charlie asked as he heard the door sharply shut.
“Abigail saw us with the ropes,” I said as I held my wrists out for him to untie.
“Do we care?” Charlie asked, and he loosened the ropes before he pulled them off, setting them aside. “She’s your lady, and loyal to you. She’s not going to spread it around.”
“Yeah, but that’s not really the point,” I said. “You should give me a moment with her.”
“As you wish.” Charlie nipped at my ear. “Can’t say I won’t listen to that recording again though, and be back for more later.”
I giggled, and he helped me change into proper clothes before placing me in my chair and leaving our quarters. He had something to do for the wedding, but he wouldn’t tell me what. I was already bubbling with anticipation at what the surprise might be.
I rolled myself into the living area of our suite and noticed that Abigail was already there, looking meekly at the floor.
“Could you have someone get us some tea and snacks?” I asked. “We need to talk.”
Abigail didn’t hesitate. She ducked out to speak with another servant, before venturing back in. I was already waiting at a small round table for her. I didn’t say a word as an Elvish maidenbrought us chai tea and a plate of decorated spiced cinnamon cookies, leaving the room with a bow. Abigail poured me a cup of tea, though she didn’t make one for herself.
