I ate a cookie before I said, “We should talk about what you saw.”
“I am your lady, and I serve the crown,” Abigail said in a flat voice, glancing at my wrists where the ties had been. “It is not my place to question anything the prince does, and I understand my position. I should’ve waited for you to call me in before entering, and I didn’t, as I forgot my place. Forgive me. You have no need to explain anything.”
“I’m not obligated to explain. But I want to.” I put the cookie down. “You’re worried he's hurting me. As you said, you are my lady, and you’ve sworn to care for me. So I want to show you that I’m not being hurt.”
Abigail visibly swallowed. “Permission to speak freely, princess?”
“Of course.”
“You maybelievethat he’s not hurting you, but I don’t see how such a thing caneverbe good, especially not for a woman,” Abigail insisted. “This… bondage is dangerous. It’s… it’s not a real relationship! He’s using you in a sick way!”
She nearly burst while saying the words, and I reached out to take her hand. “It is, and it’s safe. He’s not using me. This is something we both enjoy.”
“Hasheconvinced you of that? I bet this was his idea,” Abigail spat.
“This is something we’ve done for a while, and everything’s consensual,” I insisted. “It seems terrible because you don’t understand. I want to know what you’ve assumed, so I can answer your questions.”
Abigail looked increasingly worried. “My princess, there are rumors about the palace. Not about you and the prince, but about…otherswho participate in such activities.”
Where was this going? “Rumors about who?”
Abigail drew her hand away from me and began twisting a napkin in her grasp. “Well… Prince Cameron is an upstanding gentleman, and as far as I’ve heard, would never consider anything so heinous.”
She dropped her voice and leaned forward. “As for the Emperor… there are whispers of what he and the former queen used to do in their bedchamber alone… and what is said truly shocks me.”
Okay, so Cassiel and his wife had been into some kinky shit. I could see where Charlie had gotten it from. Cassiel seemed like the type of person who could go to some really dark places if he wanted to. He was noble and gentle on the outside, but I bet he’d done a bunch of twisted things to remain on the throne. If he was anything like Charlie— and I knew the two of them were a lot alike— there was a monster inside of him he didn’t let out unless he had to. But when the monster unleashed, he enjoyed every minute of it.
If possible, Abigail’s voice became even lower. “In fact, there are even those that say she diedbecauseof it.”
“People make up silly rumors about BDSM all the time, because they don’t understand it,” I told her. “I’m certain that’s not true.”
But yet… holy shit. What if itwas?So what’s why Cassiel’s wife had died before her time. He’d fucked her to death.
What a way to go. I could only be so lucky.
“You think this was Emperor Cassiel’s idea, and he told Charlie to do this?” I did my best not to laugh.
“Yes, but you’re insinuating that’s not the case,” Abigail stated.
“It’s not. Some people can take this lifestyle too far, and it can get abusive. But for other people, it can actually be a safe choice. It’s all about how well the couple communicates.”
“How? Explain it to me.” Abigail’s eyes flashed. “As far as I’m concerned, all this is about is a woman being subservient to a man.”
“This lifestyle isn’t dependent on gender roles. A man can be submissive to a woman, in this kind of situation, and couples with queer identities can participate, too. If you’ll have an open mind, I can tell you more.”
Abigail held a breath, then let it out. “Very well. I’ll listen to whatever my princess has to say, because I want to understand the situation, and be sure you’re safe.”
I leaned back in my chair. “Charlie and I are full-time dominant and submissive. We know our roles, and we live them out at all times, including outside the bedroom. If I listen to what he tells me, then he rewards me.”
“But is this something you need to do?” Abigail asked.
“For my mental health, yes. But also, no. I can beCharlie'ssub, but I could never be anyone else's. I love this life and the dynamic we have, but he’s my one and only, and I could never be intimate with another person like this, because even though it’s a lot of fun, it requires me to be excessively vulnerable. And he’s the only man I could ever be that open with.”
“And how does he… dominate you in a respectful way?” she questioned.
“We’ve created our relationship to be respectful by default, because we both have our needs, and if we don’t get what we need from this, it doesn’t work,” I said. “He needs me to trust him. He needs me to know that he’s going to respect my boundaries, and take care of me after he pushes my limits. This kind of situation doesn’t work if he doesn't love me and I don't love him. What we have is a power exchange, where I’m givinghim something valuable, and he’s giving that back to me. I know some people are into this kind of lifestyle for just the dynamic, but that’s not us. I’m his equal, but I’m also his submissive. And he never pushes me to do anything I don’t want to do. I have full control.”
Abigail seemed to muse on this. “How does this lifestyle work, in a practical sense outside of the bedroom?”
