Dev grinned mightily. Until Cash, he’d had no idea sex was anything more than a physical release or a way to make some money. “That’s sweet. Sex was only a good time for me. I’ve done a fuck ton of drugs. Spent a lot of my life high even while takin’ care of the girls. I weaned myself off, doin’ the shit occasionally, like once a day. Then I met you and I haven’t even had the urge to smoke. I don’t want to mess up our reality. I like us.”
“I like us too,” Cash said and leaned all the way in to place a kiss on his lips, adjusting his position to move closer.
“I’ve said this before, but I need to say it again,” Dev whispered to keep the universe from hearing his words then being the bitch that it was and taking this man away from him. “What we’re doin’ matters to me. Thanks for takin’ me on to try to save me.”
The jaw-cracking yawn he gave was involuntary. His brain began to actively shut down, only holding on to Cash’s smile.
“Today, at the bike shop, my heart was beatin’ so fast I can’t believe I didn’t have a heart attack. But I’m not sad. I feel like that’s weird. I’m more relieved that my old man’s gone. He was such a motherfucker.”
“It’s not weird. He was bad to you and your family.” What an understatement. Cash didn’t know the half of it, not even with those fancy government files.
“I gotta hit the hay. I’m exhausted and tomorrow’s gonna suck,” Dev finally said and released the handhold to roll to his other side, expecting Cash to spoon in next to him.
“Leave the lamp on so I can watch you fall asleep,” Cash murmured sweetly as he gently began to massage Dev’s tight shoulder muscles. “I like looking at you.”
His eyes closed with a smile on his face. He turned again, this time to his belly with his head turned toward Cash as he gave another giant yawn. The magic of Cash’s hand held healing powers, already lulling Dev under.
“We aren’t in this bed too often without havin’ sex first. You’re good to me for bein’ patient about the girls. I’ll make it up to you,” Dev murmured.
“Not necessary. But if you think I’d be better off in the other apartment, I’ll go. It’s no problem.”
In no conceivable way was Cash leaving this room as long as Dev got to make the decision.
As if Cash read his thoughts and approved, his guy lifted to better reach across his back, giving a complete rub.
Dev lost himself in all the feels.
Maybe the reason he hadn’t told Cash the truth about what his mother confessed was because when this case was over, they were going to have to face some hard truths. It would destroy him if Cash left.
Stop thinking.
You’re making everything worse.
Dev buried his face in the pillow.
Of course that was why he hadn’t told Cash his deepest feelings. The fear of losing him too. Before he nuked his life, he needed to know what his old man was hiding.
Maybe nothing was actually in the storage unit. Then the case continued…
“Whatever you’re thinking, stop. We do this one step at a time,” Cash murmured.
The overwhelming sadness he’d kept at bay clogged his throat as he fought for mental control.
He turned his head away from Cash, fighting the tears forming.
Cash would leave him. He couldn’t take the pain…
“Hey. You’re okay,” Cash murmured, wrapping an arm around him, pressing his lips against Dev’s shoulder. “I’m here. We’ll do this day by day. Nothing’s changed.”
Dev didn’t say another word, keeping his eyes closed. He snuggled into Cash’s embrace. Thankfully sleep was right around the corner.
Chapter 27
A primal sounding groan startled Cash awake. He looked around the dark room, lifting onto his elbows, instantly alert. Dev lay beside him, on top of the bedspread with a children’s throw covering two-thirds of his body. Cash rose to an angle to better see Abi asleep on the edge of the mattress. Mae, as if making her presence known, slapped Dev in the chest which said a lot with the way she was carved into his side. Dev let out another groan, this time, turning to give Cash his back. He wrapped his arm around both his girls, who snuggled around him.
A sweet moment. Regardless of how anyone perceived these three, they were a team. Always looking out for each other, finding comfort in being with one another.
Cash looked over at his alarm clock to find it was five forty-five in the morning. The good news was that he hadn’t suffered through another bad dream. Now he understood the dreams had been a premonition. Thankfully, not directed at Dev.
