“No,” I finally answered, allowing the word to stand on its own merit as I grabbed my fishing gear.
Carter didn’t move, trapping me at the end of the dock. I straightened to my full height to face him. Though I wouldn’t call it face-to-face since he was around five-foot-ten, I had to look down to capture any part of his face in my visual field.
“It’s not that I’m unhappy. I just want my mother safe and for you to continue taking care of Kailey. Outside of that, what I want is irrelevant. It doesn’t matter at all.” That became clearer to me in every part of my life, but I left that thought inside my head.
Since I rarely allowed myself to ponder anything too deeply, the realization of what I was experiencing mentally bowled me over. I hoped my outward appearance remained calm, because inside this head, it was a shitshow. The main problem with my life, Carter and Dash had in spades. Money made me really uncomfortable and created chaos and greed for those who had it. Men like Carter and Dash never settled for more than enough.Hell, the wordenoughwasn’t even in their vocabulary. I was a basic guy who wanted a basic life. What did Dash even look like in my idea of a good life? I couldn’t envision him there with me.
“Nothing’s wrong. I appreciate what you’ve done for my mom and Dash. You saved him when he needed it.”
There. I’d said it. I was done with this conversation.
“Is that all? You and Dash seem to think you owe me something, but I assure you, you don’t. I feel whole for the first time in my life. Your mom completes me. Meeting you, Dash, and Linda has grounded me in the best possible way. I won’t ever hurt either of them. I cherish our dynamic.”
I nodded but needed time alone to grapple with the vision I had for my life—the one I wasn’t currently living. No matter what happened, if I followed my dream, I’d cause pain to people I loved. I blew out a breath I hadn’t realized I held.
“Dash wouldn’t have his career without your influence,” I started, and decided to just say what I thought. “I feel like his father’s finally paying attention to his value, which is exactly what he wanted.”
Carter smiled instantly. “Based on what I’m hearing, the elder Richmond’s quite aware of Dash’s accomplishments. Dash told me today that he landed a large client with a sizable portfolio.” Carter’s expression morphed again as he studied me closer. He furrowed his brow. “You and Dash haven’t worked out your differences yet?”
“No, not yet. I’m going inside to lay down for a minute. I’m not feeling my best.” The lie rolled off my tongue as I dropped my gaze again then moved past Carter.
“And we need you raring to go. Those girls are absolutely enamored with you.” Carter went back to gathering the rest of the snack packages and half empty bottles of water. I glanced out at the ocean, different than I’d ever seen it before. The tranquilbeauty of the water lapping gently against the dock, and the sun beating down on my naked chest eased my tension.
So there was another item to add to the list of essentials for my life, I needed sun and water. Dash was excelling in the busy city atmosphere. Maybe we could live separately. It wasn’t as if we’d missed talking to each other over the last two weeks. Honestly, we hadn’t done much that couples do in a very long time. Dash was evolving into the image of a true Richmond. It was in his blood. Work and success were all that mattered to him anymore. Somewhere along the way the boy I’d fallen for had faded away, and I had no control over his departure.
I rolled my tense shoulder muscles and placed the fishing gear on the deck leading to the kitchen. The ache in my gut told me I’d known the proper answer to our problems for years now. I didn’t want to face it, but we’d grown too far apart. Apparently neither one of us wanted to throw in the towel, but ignoring it was making us both miserable.
“Beau. Beau. Beau,” Kailey said as I stepped through the sliding glass door. The girls chimed in too, except for Daisy. She was growing up too quickly. The other three were sweet but exhausting.
“He’s going into his room,” Carter said, dropping the mess he’d collected from the dock onto the kitchen counter. “You girls need to be quiet for him. When are we leaving for the fair?”
“A few hours,” my mom answered. “Everyone be quiet. Finish up so you can lay down too. You’re going to be up late tonight.”
I pointed to the stairs then started that way. Change was coming, I felt it in my bones. All I could do was hope for the best.
Dash
The following day
Although the firm’s annual round table discussions didn’t allow for phone checks, I slipped my hand into my breast pocket and retrieved the cell the second it vibrated against my chest. Sadly, it wasn’t Beau. Though itwasBeau-adjacent since it was Carter, who was currently vacationing with my guy.
“Excuse me,” I said firmly, pushing the chair backward and rising to my feet while sliding my thumb across the screen. I didn’t speak until I was away from any prying ears. “Hey.”
“You free?”
“Probably not the best time but what’s up?” I said, then quickly dropped the professional act because I had to know. “How’s Beau?”
“He’s fine,” Carter said. “Beau doesn’t speak to me much, but I can tell he’s struggling.”
I closed my eyes,strugglingwas such a small word to describe the misery my broken heart faced. “I miss him. So what’s going on?”
“I wanted to let you know I’m attending the economic summit this year. Your father will be there.”
My eyes popped open wide at that announcement.
“When?”
“It begins Sunday evening about the same time Linda drops Beau at the airport. She’ll arrive Monday morning, I believe,” Carter said, never too good about remembering his packed schedule.
