The last thing I want to do is act like a fucking beast right now, but that’s exactly what I feel like. A desperate, feral monster with a raging erection and a heart that won’t stop pounding hard and fast in my tight chest. Her perfume has soaked into every inch of my car, staining the seats and swallowing up the new car scent that used to be in its place. I glare at the useless tree-shaped air freshener hanging from the rear-view mirror.
“If I know one thing about Wesley, it’s that he won’t take what you did for granted. Regardless of when you did it, you still made that choice. He knows how much you love him,” I force out, every syllable strained.
Brielle crosses her legs and digs her elbow into the centre console. The heat from her arm soaks into mine, coaxing me closer. I don’t hesitate to drop a hand from the steering wheel to her thigh. Her very hot, very bare thigh. My fingers stretch and strain against her skin before I force them still, covering as much of her thigh as possible.
Her hand is soft when she covers mine with it and interlocks our fingers. “Thank you, Rome.”
“The moment we get to where we’re going, we’ll talk about everything.”
“We could start now. Or you could tell me where you’re taking me, because unless you moved, we’re not going to your place.”
“No, we’re not.”
“No we’re not going to your place, or not talking?” she pokes, shifting our hands a bit higher up her leg.
It’s innocent, but my mind is not.
“I shouldn’t have kept anything a secret from you, Brielle. That’s always been my biggest regret with you. It was unfair, and I understand how that made you feel uncomfortable. How it hurt you.”
She’s quiet for a moment, her grip loosening before growing tighter once again. “What upset me the most wasn’t even that you kept it a secret. It was that you’d already seen me in a way that I thought you hadn’t the first time we had sex. All of my insecurities that I tried to hide while filming, I didn’t with you. And I don’t know. That got in my head. It hurts me that when you realized who I was, you decided that you had to stay away. I guess . . . I want to know if you were really that disgusted with me.”
“No.” It blasts from me. Pain ricochets through my chest. “That’s not it at all.”
“Explain this to me, then. Please,” she murmurs.
I pull the car into an empty parking lot and park so suddenly that we lurch forward. There’s a weight crushing my chest further and further with every moment I go without looking her in the eye and explaining how she couldn’t be more wrong.
“Listen to me, baby,” I demand softly, unbuckling my seat belt. It reels back into place behind me when I twist and gather both of her hands in mine. “There has never been a single thing about you that has disgusted me. That’s not something that’s even mildly possible then or now or fifty years in the future. The last thing on my mind when I saw you in the studio that daywasn’t disgust. It wasguilt. I felt guilty because not only were you Wesley’s sister, Evie’s client, and fifteen years younger than me . . . but I’d been enamoured with you long before I saw you in the studio. You are an angel, Brielle. And even when I was nothing more than a subscriber on some cam site, I knew that.
“It was wrong for me to look at you and want to pull you into my arms and haul you out like a caveman the way I ached to because you weren’t mine then. You weren’t mine, and I thought you never could be. The last thing on my mind was disgust for what you did or who you were. It was fear and this soul-crushing guilt that I thought was going to kill me that kept me away. If you want to keep uploading, then I’ll support you in that. You will never, ever be made to feel ashamed of anything you do with me. I only want you to be happy.”
Tears glisten in her green eyes, and I lurch forward, no longer bothering to hold myself back. She folds into my arms instantly, her face finding the curve of my neck while I press my cheek to her temple. Inhaling, I smooth a hand down the back of her head, needing to keep touching her in any way I can.
It’s been days since I’ve had her like this, and I never, ever want to go that long again. I don’t care what I have to do to make that happen. I’ll do anything.
“I love you, Brielle. Every single inch of you, inside and out. And that’s never going to change,” I vow. My lips kiss her hair. “Let me prove it to you.”
She nods into my throat, a heavy breath fanning across my skin. “I already decided that I was going to let you. I just needed to hear everything. And I don’t want to beCrushedvelvetanymore. Not because I feel ashamed, but because I don’t enjoy it anymore. The only person I want to see me like that is you.Onlyyou.”
“There’s more I need to tell you. I don’t want to hold back a fucking thing from you anymore.”
“I’m listening,” she whispers, slowly pushing back.
Her eyes are still wet, but they’re glimmering brightly now. I card my fingers through her hair and guide it over her shoulders. She quirks a half smile.
“It’s not going to be a fun conversation,” I warn, letting my gaze wander over her face, taking in every freckle and imperfection that she no longer tries to hide from me.
“I don’t need fun right now, Rome. The heavy is just fine with me.”
My laugh is half-relieved, half-nervous. “You say that now.”
“No, I say that now, and I’ll mean it tomorrow and every day after that. I’m not afraid of your past, Roman. It’s a part of you that I want access to so that I can understand you better.”
“You already understand me better than anyone ever has,” I admit.
Her smile returns at that. “I know. But I still want to hear what you have to say.”
“Tell me you love me first.”
